Oh, Mi Corazón
by Eboyv
Summary: AU Spamano. Would you rather know when your lover were to die or would you rather not know and be spared the pain of knowledge? This is the question that surrounds Antonio and Lovino as they fight together through an illness of the heart.
1. Prologue

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

_'The grape vine is a precious thing, mio nipote. Not only is it an umbilical chord for its precious fruits that cling to it, but a symbol of strength. If the vine is cut, though part of one complete infrastructure, it never decays the rest of its heritage. The rest of the vine almost seem to restore the injured piece to its former youth, aiding it in recovery. No matter how severe the wound, a grape vine will never be vanquished and will always heal as long as it has its other pieces.'_

The words pitter-pattered on his mind with his grandfather's deep husky tone lacing each word. It was a saying that he longed to understand and fought to find the answer to. At first, it appeared his grandfather was saying to ' keep close to family, for if you are cut off, you can be easily replaced'. But the way his grandfather shook his head in distaste at the presumption made his blood boil.

Twirling the ice within his glass, he watched as the condensation gathered on the outside, bubbles of cool, refreshing liquid all dribbling down the sides. The young man sat in the patio chair, his feet up on the edge as he continued twirling the ice, taking a few sips here and there. It was warm on this particular day, but not overbearing. It was humid, but not overly so. He fanned himself, but in a since, welcomed the heat like a soft quilt lain upon him. It was simply… a day. The breeze shook the tree branches softly, the rows of the vineyard seeming to dance and greet each other as if part of some ceremonious ballad. The helpers slowly tended to their shares of the vine, trimming and plucking and soothing its weary needs. And they all felt the same as the young man in the chair.

It was simply a day.

Taking a tranquil breath in and listening to a bird coo off to the side of him, he turned to look. He had been wrong to assume it had come from his own property however, because it instead sang from the walls that divided their property from the neighboring property. Though not nearly as lavishing as their own villa, the neighboring estate was large and, if managed, very beautiful. What once could have been the most fertile land for wine making was just cracked earth, overgrown in weeds for acres and acres.

He cracked a smile at this, recollecting past memories of his grandfather arguing with previous property owners on buying out the land. But those were years ago. Before the towering wall was built up between their land and the neighbors'. The wall didn't stretch completely down the estate, as it was very vast in size, but just around the villa itself. Once the wall had been built, the previous owners abandoned the villa, and it hadn't been sold since. It had been empty since he was in his per-pubescent years, and always an eye soar compared to their rich, supple vineyard.

"Lovino!" His grandfather called from inside, faint though echoing through the wood-varnished interior. "Come inside! Your brother will be home soon!" He supposed the summer tranquility was always to be cut short. After all, nothing good to him ever could last, not entirely anyways. Giving a final inhale of the brisk, warm, summer-scented air, he rose from his seat only to hesitate shortly. At first, he question giving a second look, as if to prove to himself he were not a fool. But, giving into his curiosity, he searched again over the wall and onto the deck of the neighbor's villa. Yes. So his sight did not betray him.

A man stood on the heightened deck, looking out over the sun-scorched fields. Though he was small from the distance between their lots, it almost seemed by his posture that he had the same tranquility as Lovino. An essence that strongly desired forever bliss. The man brought whatever was in his hand to his lips and then turned, waving an arm to Lovino. It was unclear whether this stranger was truly waving at him or what kind of expression he had on his face due to the distance. However, he just simply frowned and politely acknowledged the man with a responding, half-hearted wave, then quickly proceeded inside.

It was a simple day.

* * *

This is just a tiny post to give you a taste of what's to come. If you'd like it to continue, please show support through liking the story or I, or even reviewing! :) Thanks!


	2. At the Dinner Table

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

* * *

_'The grape vine is a precious thing, mio nipote. Not only is it an umbilical chord for its precious fruits that cling to it, but a symbol of strength. If the vine is cut, though part of one complete infrastructure, it never decays the rest of its heritage. The rest of the vine almost seem to restore the injured piece to its former youth, aiding it in recovery. No matter how severe the wound, a grape vine will never be vanquished and will always heal as long as it has its other pieces.'_

The words pitter-pattered on his mind with his grandfather's deep husky tone lacing each word. It was a saying that he longed to understand and fought to find the answer to. At first, it appeared his grandfather was saying to ' keep close to family, for if you are cut off, you can be easily replaced'. But the way his grandfather shook his head in distaste at the presumption made his blood boil.

Twirling the ice within his glass, he watched as the condensation gathered on the outside, bubbles of cool, refreshing liquid all dribbling down the sides. The young man sat in the patio chair, his feet up on the edge as he continued twirling the ice, taking a few sips here and there. It was warm on this particular day, but not overbearing. It was humid, but not overly so. He fanned himself, but in a since, welcomed the heat like a soft quilt lain upon him. It was simply… a day. The breeze shook the tree branches softly, the rows of the vineyard seeming to dance and greet each other as if part of some ceremonious ballad. The helpers slowly tended to their shares of the vine, trimming and plucking and soothing its weary needs. And they all felt the same as the young man in the chair.

It was simply a day.

Taking a tranquil breath in and listening to a bird coo off to the side of him, he turned to look. He had been wrong to assume it had come from his own property however, because it instead sang from the walls that divided their property from the neighboring property. Though not nearly as lavishing as their own villa, the neighboring estate was large and, if managed, very beautiful. What once could have been the most fertile land for wine making was just cracked earth, overgrown in weeds for acres and acres.

He cracked a smile at this, recollecting past memories of his grandfather arguing with previous property owners on buying out the land. But those were years ago. Before the towering wall was built up between their land and the neighbors'. The wall didn't stretch completely down the estate, as it was very vast in size, but just around the villa itself. Once the wall had been built, the previous owners abandoned the villa, and it hadn't been sold since. It had been empty since he was in his per-pubescent years, and always an eye soar compared to their rich, supple vineyard.

"Lovino!" His grandfather called from inside, faint though echoing through the wood-varnished interior. "Come inside! Your brother will be home soon!" He supposed the summer tranquility was always to be cut short. After all, nothing good to him ever could last, not entirely anyways. Giving a final inhale of the brisk, warm, summer-scented air, he rose from his seat only to hesitate shortly. At first, he question giving a second look, as if to prove to himself he were not a fool. But, giving into his curiosity, he searched again over the wall and onto the deck of the neighbor's villa. Yes. So his sight did not betray him.

A man stood on the heightened deck, looking out over the sun-scorched fields. Though he was small from the distance between their lots, it almost seemed by his posture that he had the same tranquility as Lovino. An essence that strongly desired forever bliss. The man brought whatever was in his hand to his lips and then turned, waving an arm to Lovino. It was unclear whether this stranger was truly waving at him or what kind of expression he had on his face due to the distance. However, he just simply frowned and politely acknowledged the man with a responding, half-hearted wave, then quickly proceeded inside.

It was a simple day.

* * *

Stepping into the cool air conditioning, he inhaled a deep breath. His family treasured a long line of wealth, all centered around the wine-making industry. However, the villa he'd lived in since he was a young boy was not at all obnoxiously large, a preference of his grandfather. In fact, it was just a larger house that happened to be beautiful designed and decorated. Artwork hung on the walls in mahogany frames, the wood itself he could see his own face in. As his shoes clacked upon its surface he took no marvel at the luxurious spiral staircase to the left or how the cream colors of the walls complimented the wood furniture.

"Lovi!" His grandfather called again, this time a little sharper. Lovino's footsteps quickened but a certain twitch of his eyebrow reassured his annoyed. "There you are. It's about damn time boy!" Roma scolded, hands on his hips, as the young man entered the dining room. "Help me set the table."

"I don't see why we need to do this. It's just Feliciano.." Lovino grumbled, placing an idle hand on the edge of one of the chairs. Roma looked as if someone had struck him on the cheek.

"Honestly. You haven't seen your brother in over a year and it's like you don't miss him a bit! Well shame on you, mio nipote! You shall set the table and that will be the end of it." Always so damn authoritative, so driven to set the rules and earn respect. Lovino half admired Roma for this, and half despised him. Well, as much as loving spite goes. His grandfather had raised him and his brother since his parents died when they were young. He took them in, raised them as his own sons and gave them proper education and a childhood that was more than any kid could ever ask for. Thinking about this, Lovino didn't argue again and went to the kitchen to gather the silverware and plates. Bringing them back to the table and spreading the pieces out, he looked up at Roma who was just smiling into thin air. _Weirdo._ Lovino thought to himself. But just as he finished setting the table, a hollow knock sounded from the front door.

Roma's face lit up with glee and stumbled like an oaf to the doorway, sounds of celebration soon following. "Oh my dear Feliciano, how I've missed you! You must tell me of your adventures! Did you meet any cute girls? What kind of wine did you taste? Oh I just could kiss you! _Mwa! Mwa!_"

"Grandpa! You just did like twelve times!" A familiar laugh echoed as he approached the two.

"I don't think he wants to be bombarded right as he walks in the door, Grandpa." Lovino stated, though there was a faint hint of laughter in his voice as he leaned against the door frame, arms folded. Feliciano turned at the voice and Lovino swore he could see tears in his brother's eyes, which was no surprise. He gave a smile. "Welcome back, fratello."

"_Lovino!_" Suddenly he was tackled by his younger brother and constricted by those loving arms of his. "Oh I've missed you so much! And I have so many great things to tell you!" Lovino couldn't help but laugh at the sudden affection.

"Later. Later, Feli. Dinner's about to begin."

"Feli. Oh I've missed that name!"

"I thought you hated it?"

"I did! But then I didn't hear it for a year and now.. oh say it again for me, will you?"

"... Feli?"

"Lovino!" Feliciano laughed again and clung to his brother.

When they arrived back at the dinner table, it had already been set with a variety of beautiful-looking food. Mainly pasta, as per request from Roma, and topped off with all kinds of spices and sauces, breads and spreads, and of course, the wine glasses filled to the brim. Feliciano was thrilled at this and hurried grace to dig in. Roma sat at the head of the table, 'the seat of pride' his brother and him would call it, and Feli sat right next to him. He however, sat at the other end as he didn't fancy being next to his brother when eating. The reason was obvious as to the food stains smothered across his face. "Alright, I'm dying now. Please! Tell us of your journey!" Roma prodded. Feliciano just smiled, cheeks plump with food as he vigorously swallowed, taking a sip of wine and beginning.

"Well, as you know, my first journey was at Lake Geneva in Switzerland. Oh it was gorgeous, Grandpa! I've never seen flowers so yellow or mountains so blue or grass so green! It was like some kind of 'spring water' advertisement! And the ladies there were very charming!" Roma grinned wide at this and winked at Lovino who just rolled his eyes and continued eating. "Well we hiked around a bit, took some studies of German culture and food. It was very delicious too, though not as delicious as your food, Grandfather!" _Kiss ass.._ Lovino mumbled under his breath.

"After that, we went to France and saw the Eiffel tower! I sent you some pictures I took, aren't they pretty?"

"Oh yes yes! The were! I hung them in my studies!"

"Fantastic! Well anyways, same as before, we learned more about French culture, though they were kind of weird. Half of them were very rude to me and half of them were um... very.. interesting."

"Interesting how?"

"Well.. I saw a man making love to a woman right on his front porch. As I walked by I kept my eyes on the road but he just took the cigarette out of his mouth and smiled at me, asking me how my day was as he continued to penetrate her! It was really awkward."

"Jesus, I'm trying to eat here, Feli!"

"Then eat! You shouldn't get so bashful around sex, Lovino. It's a natural part of humanity." Roma chided.

"You're just saying that because you probably once fucked a woman on your doorstep too!"

"Language!"

"Sorry, Grandpa.." He mumbled and began toiling around with the noodles. There was an eerie silence to the room until Roma finally snorted into laughter.

"Though.. he is right."

"_You didn't!_" Feli gawked.

"_EATING._"

Once the table settled down again, Feliciano continued. "After France, we traveled down to Spain where we were just able to catch and participate in the wine throwing festival in La Rioja."

"They have a festival for wine?!" Roma's eyes sparkled.

"Yes! And it was delicious, though, again, not as delicious as your wine, Grandpa. But even so, there was a stable of horses nearby and apparently one of the participants got a little too.. well.. into wine. He let the gate open and suddenly there was a stampede of horses racing right through the streets. The weirdest thing happened though; the people didn't stop throwing wine! Soon the horses were covered in wine too and when they finally stopped running, they were drunk!" _Horses don't get drunk, _Lovi thought to himself in aggravation.

"The ladies couldn't keep their hands off me there either!" Feli continued in a boastful manor. Roma found this hilarious but Lovino scowled. "We barely escaped with our brain cells, but sure enough, we backpacked all the way to Germany." Lovino couldn't help but notice the faint blush on his brother's cheek or the way he paused before saying, "... but we had already studied German culture so it wasn't much of an adventure. We saw some chocolate and ate some buildings.. I-I mean ate some chocolate, saw some building. We also went to a concert... and that was fun." He looked down, picking at his spaghetti, and Lovi narrowed his eyes.

"Feli... are you alright?"

"Yes! Okay! Fine! Don't press me any further I'll tell you!" The outburst sent both Roma and Lovi to stiffen but they listened.

"Tell us what, Feli?.." Roma questioned in his husky, concerned tone. Feli looked guilty and Lovino couldn't help but adore the face he was making. _Please be telling us he's actually secretly a chimpanzee that can't do diddly squat. Or that he cheated on every paper he's ever made. Or maybe that he dropped out of Harvard and became a hobo._ Lovino yearned, listening closer to his brother.

"... Germany... was amazing." Feliciano's blush was worsened now as he dreamily looked ahead. "... I... I might've met someone."

"Might've?!" Roma yelled.

"Met someone!?" Lovino followed. Feliciano sank back in his chair.

"The person I met.. they're truly beautiful. With straight blonde hair, and striking blue eyes. And just the most incredible butt in the world.." It was as if Feli was like a little high school girl talking about her crush. It was nauseating.

"Oh my Feli! She sounds very pretty!" Roma grinned, "That's my boy! You know you get your lady charm from me!" Again the guilty face.

"Well... that's the thing Grandpa... they're not a _girl _per say. They're kind of um... a guy. A very.. very manly guy."

Silence. A long, drawn out silence before both Lovino and Roma slammed their hands on the table and shouted in unison, "_You're gay!?_"

"W-well we visited this old naval base and that's where I met him and we went for coffee and he's really nice, but really scary, but really nice! He's like a big teddybear except instead of fluff he has kind of all muscle and-"

"Careful, Feli you're drooling." Though Lovino just adored the way his brother squirmed and he just laughed and plopped down in his seat with satisfaction, directing his gaze strongly at Roma who's face was pale. With a laugh he pointed across the table, "You owe me so much money, Grandpa."

"I owe you no such thing!"

"Liar!"

"Cheater! Feli, are you sure you're gay? What about your birthday last year? I bought you a stripper and everything! And you disappeared in the back for a while and-"

"And we talked about her interest in the medical field and her boyfriend's drama. She was very nice!" Roma smacked his hand to his forehead with an 'Oii', but Lovino just cackled.

"I think your tab's adding up, Grandpa."

"Oh for fuck's sake!"

"_Language." _Lovino mocked.

"_Up yours." _Slouching back in his chair, Roma sighed and rubbed his face. "You two are going to give me a heart attack. Feli.. does this boy... man... thing... treat your right?"

"Oh yes very!"

Roma sighed and rubbed his eyes again. "Then I approve of your... choices. Whatever makes you happy." Lovino's amusement died down but a mental smile still remained, just by knowing that Feliciano was not completely perfect in his grandfather's eyes. Ones the shock of the news died down, Roma urged Feli to continue his stories.

"Well.. if I'm going to be completely honest here.. I kind of don't really have any other stories." Roma looked puzzled.

"What? But I thought you traveled to Egypt and Lybia. And you visited Pakistan and Moscow?"

"Um... I kind of didn't. Actually, Ludwig and I-"

"_Are you kidding me?!-"_

_"Ludwig and I wanted to backpack since he was only on leave for one more week until he would be deployed again. So we instead went to France and Switzerland again and Belgium and Austria too. But don't worry I met up with them again in England and they didn't even know!"_

"How the fuck did you pull that off?!" Through Roma's rage, Lovino found the same pounding curiosity.

"My friends. They agreed to help cover for me which they did nicely. One of them even dressed up as me for a partner's activity."

"And they call this an IV league school?! I'm just wasting my money apparently."

"I'm sorry, Grandpa, if it helps any, I don't think I will see him again." But the way Feliciano's face sank, it only made Roma's heart lurch to make him feel better.

"No. That wouldn't help any. I'm just concerned about you. You missed so much schooling when you left probably, a whole week's worth of lollygagging and romance and rebelling..." Roma sighed with a chuckle, "god you really are just like your grandpa.." There was silence but Lovino was becoming agitated again at Roma's sudden acceptance. Feliciano was once again perfect. "Well, I'm sorry that things didn't work out between you and that fella. Perhaps he might be thinking of you in the same light?" Roma looked as if he was biting on nails as he said it.

"Perhaps.." Feliciano sighed, suddenly seeming to lose his appetite. "If it's alright, may I be excused?"

"Sure, mio nipote. Make sure you practice your ciello upstairs though."

"Alright Grandpa. And.. thank you for being so accepting.." Roma nodded with a smile as Feli dragged himself up the stairs.

Roma and Lovino were left to toss around the food on their plate, suddenly also losing their appetite. Then suddenly, the image of the man on the porch crossed Lovino's memory and he stated in a very noncholant way, "Oh, Grandpa. I'd thought you'd like to know. The old villa out by the wasteland was bought out finally." This seemed to perk his grandfather up.

"What? Really?"

"Yes. I saw a man on the porch looking out over the field."

"How old did he look?"

"I couldn't tell. It was too far away. He didn't have white hair or baldness though, so he's not too old."

"Haha! Fantastic! Men aren't nearly as stubborn when they have their youth. I think I shall pay those neighbors of ours a visit.." with a chuckle he began to devour another hunk of spaghetti. But the familiar silence made Lovino's skin crawl. Before he could raise himself to be excused, Roma-as expected- opened his mouth.

"So how has that job search been coming?" Lovino's form seemed to wilt with a scowl on his face.

"It hasn't."

"And why's that?"

"I see no need. We have enough wealth to support three more generations including my own, I find a job unnecessary."

"Unnecessary?!" Roma's voice sharpened. "A man is only as good as the work he puts into his life! We aren't in America, Lovino, you can't just idly sit around your entire life."

"I have all the freedom to do so."

Roma stood up, slamming his hands down on the table and making the plates shake. "_Not under my roof you don't._"

Lovino sighed. This was a very common argument him and his grandfather left off with in almost every encounter between the two. But he just didn't understand. Why would he have to work when he would just be provided for the rest of his life? The money wasn't going away, especially with Roma's stinginess. And he especially did not want to get his hands dirty and be mistaken for the help. It was like he was battling for his pride, but the thing was; his grandfather _always _won.

"You will joining the help in the fields tomorrow morning. And that is that." Lovino's eyes went wide and abruptly stood up.

"Like hell I am! You're asking me to mistake myself with below common population?!"

"_You will show those men some respect, nipote!_ For they are more men than you will ever be at this point. They have worked themselves to the bone to support their families and served us well. Now you watch your fucking tongue tomorrow or I'll beat it out of you." Lovino was about to retort something vicious, though the threat sunk deep in him like a knife. He had faced the wrath of Roma before when he got angry at one of the helpers and slapped her on the face, only to be beaten with a book shortly after. Lovino knew the punishment was just, and Roma was not unkind for the methods he used. It got the message across. But even so, it was not something Lovino would challenge. "You don't go to school. You don't have any responsibilities than wiping your own ass. So tomorrow, you will not be given money and I will make sure they don't spare you any money out of pity. You will do the best that you can and if it's not enough or it gets in the way of their own jobs, I will assure you that you will become the help for the rest of summer."

"You _cant!_" Lovino screamed childishly.

"_I just did._" The young man didn't even respond, for he couldn't. Instead, he shot out of the chair with a noise of restraint and stomped up the stairs to his room.

As Lovino traveled up the stairs in all his wrath he caught the nosy eyes of his brother peaking behind the doorway. "_what the fuck are you looking at?!_" He screamed, tears swelling on the corners of his eyes. _It was unfair. So unfair! He was in the right, all of his friends didn't have to work.._ Lovino thought about this for a second. He had no friends. When he left high school, what little of friends he had went off to travel the world while he reclined into his home. But it wasn't that was lazy... okay so maybe a vast part, but his fear of failure got in the way of motivation. He had made so many mistakes in his life compared to his brother's perfections that he never really had friends or anyone who was nice to him besides his grandfather and brother. To be honest with himself, he was lonely, admittedly so. The reason he sat out on the porch so often with his glass of lemonade was simply because listening to the men working and the birds chirping and the summer breeze against his face, it made him feel just a tiny less so. And that was truly when the tears started.

"L-Lovino, what's wrong?" Feliciano hurriedly asked in concern, holding his brothers face and trying to pull him into a hug. But Lovino just pushed him away, the sobs getting worse.

"Don't fucking touch me you fucking faggot!" It was a low hit, and even Lovino knew this. He didn't disapprove of Feliciano's news, but right now, all he saw was tears and red. But he wouldn't apologize, he wouldn't look remorseful, his pride was too important. And with a sharp turn of his heel, he ran to his room, slammed the door, and didn't come out until the next morning. Never once looking at the stabbed face of his brother.

* * *

_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_


	3. The Man on the Porch

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

* * *

The morning, unlike the rest of before, was not peaceful or gentle. He did not wistfully wake up to the sun speckling its light on his covers, nor did his eyes flutter open like some fairy book princess. No, this morning woke him by something else entirely; a horn. As it screamed to his ears and threw himself from the bed, his heart beating wildly as he looked at his grandfather, a stern expression on his face. "Rise and shine, nipote. Your day's begun."

"It's fucking five in the morning!"

"And the help got up at four. So already you're late." He smirked at his power of the young boy. "_Go._"

"I don't even get breakfast-?!"

"_NOW._" With that, he quickly ran past his grandfather and tumbled down the steps, forgetting to even dress himself over the boxers and tank he wore. But he was too tired and didn't think of it as he ran straight to the help house at the corner of their estate, his socks becoming moist with mud. When he burst in, many of the helpers had already left to take care of the morning routines, but a few just smiled at him, suppressing their laughter. It was only then, horrified, that he realized he had forgotten to put on clothes besides undergarments, and blushed deeply. He wanted to run so bad but forced himself to stand his ground before one of the help handed him a dirt and sweat-stained jumper. At first, he was disgusted at the idea of putting it on, but when realizing that they weren't joking, he groaned and crawled into it, zipping it up. The jumper belonged to the gardening section.

Taking some clippers, the helpers began showing him how to tend to the vine, clipping it ever so gently and only on certain spots to allow it to breath. The buds of the grapes could be seen bubbling out of the leaves and when he tried to pick one he was swatted over the head by one of the helpers. "Don't touch the grapes" he said heatedly. Lovino just looked down trying not get himself in any more trouble.

The day progressed in a rather slow fashion, the heat hitting hard around two o' clock. Lovino swore he'd never sweat so much in his life, especially in the heavy jumper he was forced to wear with the rest of the vine helpers. And the entire time he could always spot glimpses of the helpers pointing at him and laughing to each other then quickly going back to work. Hell, even Roma came out to enjoy the view of his miserable humiliation. When it just looked as if he was about to die, one of the helpers came up to him with a glass of lemonade and a smile, which he took gratefully. _Alright, so not all of these guys are bad I suppose. _He thought to himself, taking a sip of the ice cold lemonade.

Looking over across the estate, he saw his neighbor's a ways away. And sure enough, the man from before was standing atop the patio, drinking something in his hand and seeming to count with his other hand a number. _Odd._ But as Lovino thought about turning away and getting back to work, two men came bursting from the inside of the villa, hurriedly talking to the man on the porch. They were both light haired and very pale, contrary to the man on the porch who's skin was quite tan. Now that he looked closer, especially with the comparison of the two other men, he had dark brown hair and was pretty well built from what he could see in his slacks and dark t-shirt. But the other two pale men seemed angry, or maybe scared? They pulled him back inside quickly as the tan man waved them off in annoyance. And for once, it seemed like someone could relate to Lovino's own aggravation with the limit of freedom given. _Who is this man?_ he thought to himself as he continued to pluck the vine.

Near dinner time, he was still out in the field, now quite proud of himself at how much he'd worked through the day. _That old bastard can't say a goddamn thing! _Lovino laughed to himself, now noticing that the rest of the help were returning to the Helper's House. Grimacing and wiping the sweat off his brow, he began towards the house as well. In fact, it seemed as if the fields were empty accept for him. Perhaps he had gotten lost in his thoughts during the day, thinking about his life and his choices, about his future? They were thoughts that plagued his mind often but before they dug too deep, he pushed them away and continued what ever he was doing. The skills he learned were impressive, he would admit. And it was helpful learning about how to maintain the vine, though, the soreness of his muscles he would've done well without.

When he was around the center of the field, unzipping the jumper slightly, he saw out of the corner of his eye the man again. But this time, he wasn't staring atop the porch deck. Nor did he have something to drink in his hand. In fact, he wore a white tank and the same slack pants from before and was nailing vineyard stakes in the ground on the field. He must've been doing it for a while, unnoticed, as there was already one and a half rows along his property line. _That moron's trying to make a vineyard by himself? He must be insane?!_ Lovino just stood there, amazed at the man's hard work, watching him struggle to drive another stake into the ground. Though, it seemed a little more struggle than even Lovino would give, and as he watched, the man feebly took another stake from the stack beside him and attempted to dig another one in before he stood very still.

Then the man collapsed onto the soil, body limp beside his handiwork.

* * *

"_Sacrebleu! Antonio, what are you doing out here?!" _The frenchman cried, stumbling out onto the deck, eyes locked on Antonio's form. But the man did not budge, just twirled the ice in his glass as he observed the dead grass consuming the property. "You must get inside!" His friend cried out again as another man came from the house. But Antonio just calmly inhaled and smiled.

"Did you know Tuscany contains the fifth best wine soil in the world?" He stated calmly, a slight accent in his voice. The blonde man looked puzzled but the albino one that just came from the house was more annoyed than anything.

"That's very interesting, and you can have more wine when you _get _in the _house._" Voice strict, a different accent also lining the words, he approached his friend atop the porch deck, reaching for his hand before hesitating.

"I think I'd like to start a vineyard." Both the pale men looked at each other concernedly before the first man spoke up.

"We can discuss this more perhaps once you join us in the living room?" Antonio just gave a prompt laugh and finally spun around. His face was young and handsome, smile lines carved into the skin around his eyes and cheeks with sparkling green eyes. They were eyes of genuine kindness that his friends had so greatly admired for all these years. An it was the same reason why they now wanted to rush him inside.

"My friends, you sound worse than a mother chiding her child! Relax. I am fine, see?" He stated, swinging his arms out to further his point. Before they could reply in any way, his eyes escaped them for a moment, and rested upon the neighboring villa up the hill. So beautiful it was, with its gorgeous cream-stone exterior and modernized feel to it. It was a mixture of classic architecture and new renovations. But not nearly as beautiful at the rich vineyard that surrounded the house, its lush green plants that had probably never once been abused in any fashion. Antonio smiled, seeing all the helpers in the field doing their work and all he could wonder was where that boy from the other day was. In many ways, he had hoped to see him sitting in that chair with his glass, staring at him again. But before his mind could wander any further, his friends grabbed him gently by the arms and brought him into the home.

When they finally got him to the living room he just laughed gleefully and lounged himself onto the couch. "I don't understand." He stated in a wistful tone. "If you brought me out here for fresh air, why do you not allow me to enjoy said air?"

"We want you to enjoy it, darling, we do. But please stay where we can see you."

"I am not a child Francis, I am twenty nine years old for god sakes!"

"And we realize that." The albino said, his hands in his pockets as he gazed at a vase in the corner. "but in case something happens we want you not to be alone."

"Nothing has happened in the past four months. You've seen the tests, my condition is improving greatly. I've been taking my medicine as instructed, hell, by the end of summer I might just fix myself on my own. But do not jail me in like some kind of animal in this place." His joyful tone seemed to fall a bit near the end and the albino fell too.

"I'm sorry, Antonio. I know you want to do so many things now that you're out here, and maybe if the heat wasn't so great we would allow you to do whatever your heart desires. But right now just humor us and stay indoors." Antonio rolled his eyes with a groan, leaning back on the sofa.

"I'm so tired of just resting, Gilbert. I'm bored, I want to enjoy the rest of my life, no matter how long it is. If you really don't want me to work, then help me in creating a vineyard!" The two did not seem amused by this what so ever as they glanced to each other.

"We would if we could, Antonio." Gilbert began, "but Francis has to talk to the doctor later and I have to go get food and your prescription."

"In other words, you're leaving me alone in the house?" Antonio said with mock concern.

"Francis will be watch you. _Won't you._" Straining his eyes to the blonde who was filing his nails, he smiled at the two and nodded. Antonio gave an aggravated groan and fell back onto the sofa.

"You guys are so annoying at times." The two were cautious at the statement, willing to accept Antonio's disliking of them, but it never came. The man just simply laughed on the couch, with that heart-winning smile and ruffled hair. "Francis, could you please bring me my prescription?" Immediately the blonde got up and made his way to the kitchen, still a little dusty from not being used. The two had worked all day on cleaning the house in preparation for Antonio's stay, but in the end just hired help to do most of it for them. As Francis returned to the living room, Gilbert texting reminders on his phone, he handed Antonio the five pills of different colors and a glass of water.

"Here, mon ami. We've run out of the blue pill so Gilbert will pick some more up this afternoon."

"Sounds good." Antonio replied gratefully, swallowing the pills one by one in between sips of water, trying to ignore that eyes on him. It was so annoying at times. Even though his friends had been there for him since the first time he was diagnosed, they kept drinking in his existence as if he'd fall dead any moment. It led him to wonder if it was best letting them know of his condition in the first place and instead just allowing them to go on thinking he was fine. That way, perhaps he wouldn't always feel like a pitied circus animal. "Say." He started, trying to break the silence. "What do you know about our neighbors?"

"You mean Mr. Highpants over there?" Gilbert snorted, "Nothing except he's some kind of greedy wine maker that wants this land. Apparently anyone who's moved in here he's clung to asking for the deed."

"Your family bought this lot a long time ago didn't they?"

"And it's precisely why we don't live here. The old man's maniacal!"

Antonio looked at the glass he had now set on the coffee table. "And does he have any family?" Gilbert shrugged.

"I dunno. I think he has a few sons or something."

"Well that would be quite the age difference.."

"Huh?" Gilbert blinked confused.

"The age difference." Antonio continued. "He's an old man right? I saw a very young man on the porch yesterday."

Francis looked at him skeptically, "how could you tell his age from so far away?"

"Well I couldn't precisely.. though the way he sat reminded me of a teenager, so he can't be far off."

"A better question is why do you care so much?" Gilbert stated, bemused. Antonio's eyes returned to the drink.

"I don't. I was allowing my mind to wander, that's all. There's not much to think about or do now a days.." With this their faces fell, though Antonio's mind was well past acknowledging the emotions. As the drugs set in, he rested his head on the couch blinking away the sight of the living room until he finally drifted off. The next time he awoke, it was later in the afternoon. The sun had turned a more richer orange-red color as it set ablaze the dust particles in the air. As he raised, his legs were feeble at first from the drugs and he could hear the faint chatter of Francis on the opposite end of the house, most likely flirting with the nurse on the phone. Folding the blanket they had put on him neatly on the side of the couch, he turned towards the back door and sunk out on the deck.

_This was a vineyard for a very long time.. they had to have kept the old stakes somewhere. _Looking around, he took note of all the cobwebs around the deck and in the weeds that were overgrown along the house. Stepping carefully onto the lawn, he searched underneath the patio and made a sound of joy as he saw an array of long, wooden, square rods. Pulling them from out beneath the patio, he clutched them under harm, having to knock a few spiders away while doing so.

It was quite a bit of a haul to get the pieces of wood out into the field, but he was too confident in himself to care. Digging the pointy tips of the rods into the soil, he found that it was loose and malleable underneath the hard, cracked surface. The first ten were very easy but it was the next thirty that became almost impossible. Antonio misjudged the heat exactly, only looking over every so often at the men in the fields next to them that sparked the inspirational burst. It was only until the shadows finally crept to where he was and the sun was finally away from him that he realized his heart beat was erratic. Leaning off of a stake he tried to calm himself, glancing over at one of the helpers that seemed to just stare at him. _That stare.._ He thought, eyes half lidded and sweat dripping from his face as he tried to control his breathing. _He isn't help.._ was all he could think before he held himself up on a stake to only inevitably collapse onto the ground, wheezing and then going still.

* * *

_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_


	4. Job Offer

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

* * *

"Hey!.. _Hey!" _When Lovino realized the man was not moving he immediately panicked, sprinting through the vine rows to get to the property while constantly looking over his shoulder at the house. "_Help! There's a man that collapsed! Help!_" he continued to shout but there was no reply and no one came out of the house. He didn't know what to do as his brain raced and heart pounded in his chest. Running past the border between their land and his, he flew over and onto where the earth was cracked and dry. When he finally reached the man, he turned him over, watching as the man breathed quickly and all but erratically. _I have to get him into a house or something! _He suddenly thought, attempting to lift the man, but it proved to heavy. Not only was he exhausted from the expanse he had just ran, but the haul of the day made his muscles tired and weak. The man that he barely held up in his arms now was also not too light either and Lovino was forced to lay him back down. _What do I do what do I do?! _Looking around he screamed again for help with no reply again. _His home. T-The men that were with him the other day! _

Before another thought crossed his mind he thundered up the slight incline towards the patio, climbing up the steps and banging on the glass door. "_Help! Help! Your friend is in_ trouble!" He peered in but there seemed to be no one at home until there was a faint trace of light in one of the hallways where the front door had opened. A man with platinum hair and red eyes was whistling to himself bring in groceries and fiddling with his phone. When he saw Lovino banging on the glass he nearly had a heart attack, flinching back and dropping the groceries on the floors.

"_Jesus!_ What the hell!?" Gilbert was hesitant to open the door for the man screaming in Italian, thinking he might be some lunatic. Shouting over his shoulder he cried, "Oi! Francis! Get your arse in here, I don't fucking know Italian!" There was just some laughing in the other room and a 'honhonhon' to follow which he became instantly aggravated with. Leaving the young man at the glass, screaming his head off, he shouted again, "Francis get the fuck up here, there's a bodacious Italian woman wanting to meet you." Instantly, a blonde man appeared from the room, quickly walking to the door.

"Oh darling! Why didn't you tell me-" Seeing the man at the glass door his face seemed to fall. "Gilbert, that is not a woman."

"Got you up didn't it?"

"You are a sick fool."

"I don't know Italian. This lunatic's been banging on the glass for the last few minutes or so screaming somethin'. Know what the fuck he's saying?" Francis placed a hand on his hip and another on the scruff of his stubble.

"Hmm.. something about vineyards and the heat."

"Well yeah, look at what he's wearing, he's one of the helpers from the other villa-"

"Wait, wait wait, I'm picking up on something. It's something to do with a man... who's fallen?" Francis' face seemed to freeze and pale. "A man has collapsed in the vineyard."

Before Francis could even respond, Gilbert tore out the door shouting "_ANTONIO!"_. Lovino, though relieved that they finally understood, was pissed off it took so long and followed after. But compared to the albino man, he could barely keep up. _What the fuck? Does this guy run marathons or something?!' _Lovino swore to himself as sharp daggers tore into his lungs. A ways ahead, Gilbert was hooking Antonio's arm around his neck and holding him up right. "_Francis. Draw a cold bath, NOW!_" He snarled ruthlessly. The man who was running behind Lovino instantly turned on a heal and sprinted back into the house as the albino's red eyes burned towards Lovino. "_You! Stubby-angry-man, Come here and help me!" _The gesture provided could easily be read and he quickly propped the other man's arm around his shoulder, aiding Gilbert to bring him into the house. Once they were in the living room, Gilbert pulled the man away from Lovino, queuing that he no longer needed his help, and disappeared down the hallways towards the sound of running water. A few minutes passed while Lovino awkwardly shifted his weight before Gilbert came back in, rubbing a towel on his hands. Looking up he sighed in annoyance with a look very familiar to Lovino. It was the look of a wealthy man regarding the help.

"_I'm not the fucking help. Stop looking at me like that."_ Lovino growled, but of course, Gilbert had not a clue what he was saying.

"You want money right? Fine, I do owe you something since you helped my friend." Taking out his wallet from his back pocket, he shifted through the money and handed Lovino a few bills consisting of fifty euros.

"What? No I'm not the hel-" But Lovino paused at the money and then thought back to his grandfather. _If I bring back money he'd surely believe I worked hard today.. why wouldn't I take it anyways? I did work hard! I earned this money. Fuck doing labor for free! _With that he took the money, nodded with a smile, and scurried off back towards the house as Gilbert bemusedly put away his wallet. Shutting the door and locking it this time, skeptical of the Italian man's intentions, he returned to the luxurious bathroom. Francis was on a stool by the tub, wrinkles neath his eyes as he stroked Antonio's hair back comfortingly, the tan man panting quick breath a pinkness to his face.

"I thought you were fucking watching him, Francis." Gilbert growled from the doorway before taking a seat on the toilet. The blonde man looked horrified, knowing he had messed up.

"I-I was! B-but then I called the doctor, and there was a lovely nurse and oh fuck off I know I messed up!" He looked away so a tear could not be seen traveling down the far side of his cheek. But the crack in his voice made it all too evident and Gilbert just sighed.

"Dammit, Antonio..." Gilbert mumbled. "You're such a stubborn bastard, why the hell do you keep doing this to yourself?" His voice was low and even he struggled in keeping his voice from cracking. Taking another deep breath, he reached to turn the fossett and patted Francis on the shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"No, no you're right. It was terrible of me to take my eyes off of him. I thought he was going to be asleep a lot longer but apparently not." Francis glanced at Antonio's face which was finally settling, deeper breaths surfacing from his lips.

"At least this time it wasn't too bad."

"This time. But how many 'this times' will we have to go through?"

"That's not our place to question, you know that Francis. Didn't you see how many stakes he put up before he collapsed? He really is getting better.." But his voice quivered as if the statement was to reassure himself. "What did the doctor say about the transplant?"

"He was very sketchy. Almost avoiding the subject." Francis responded, running a drenched cloth over Antonio's collar bones. "he told me they were trying the best they could to find a donor." Suddenly bottle flew through the room and shattered on the tile wall, soap dribbling down to the floor. Francis flinched and remained tense, looking at Gilbert who now had deeply red eyes, liquid shimmering under each.

"... we can't wait any longer. He's getting better sure, but how long until he gets worse?"

"You can't think like that."

"What gives me any reason to not?!"

"Antonio does." Francis stated, stern eyes towards Gilbert. "We've been with him since we were kids, you've seen how strong he is both mentally and physically. Even the doctors have said the only reason he's lasted this long is because he's a strong individual. He'll make it through this, Gilbert..." Turning back to Antonio who had finally returned to normal, he stated gravely. "I know it."

* * *

When he entered his own home, returning once more with only his undergarments on, there was a proud sense about him. Head held high, he strutted through the living room a grin stretched on his face and money in his hand. Roma and Feliciano were watching football on the TV when he came in, making it known to everyone of his presence and that he had money in his hand. Roma peered at his grandson skeptically, muttering, "never in my life have I seen a man be so proud to be in his undergarments." Feliciano stifled a laugh.

"Olive bread, Lovino?" Feli smiled, offering the plat of bread towards him. Lovino was glad that it seemed his remark the other night didn't dig too deep in his brother.

"You know, I think I will take some bread after a long day's work." He smugly replied, taking a piece of bread a tearing off a piece with his teeth. Roma snickered towards Feliciano.

"One day's work and he thinks he's part of a labor union. Ha!" Lovino chewed a little slower at this and then swallowed with a grimace.

"I'll have you know, _Grandpa_, that I saved a man's life just now!"

"Oh _did you?" _Roma cackled to Feli again.

"_I did! _I'm telling the truth! I saw a man collapse and I took him inside and his friends gave me money!" By now Roma was on the floor clutching his stomach. Lovino scowled at him, veins beginning to pop on his head. "_Why don't you believe me!?"_

_"_No offense, fratello, but you aren't exactly the selfless one in the family." Feliciano stated matter-o-factly above his grandfather's putrid laughter. "It's just kind of hard to believe is all.."

"B-but I did!" He stammered. "I did save him! I ran all the way to the other side of the vineyard and everything!" His family seemed to ignore him now and turn to the TV, Roma clutching his stomach and forcing his laughter to subside. _So this is what they think of me.. a joke. _Lovino sucked down his tears and threw the rest of the olive bread at them, storming away. "_Go fuck yourselves." _He hated every bit of how his voice cracked right then and there.

The rest of the night he spent in his room, just thinking about his family and himself. Even when dinner was called he ignored it and just clutched his pillow thinking. _Do they really think of me that lowly? Grandpa I understand but Feliciano? I can't accept this.. I've done so much... haven't I? _Desperately he tried recollecting all the ways he's helped the family, but was horrified that he couldn't remember anything in particular. His brother though, his brother was something special, the reason why Roma and everyone else loved him so much more than Lovino. Dear Feli was fluent in seven different languages and learning even more. He's traveled to so many places and accepted by anyone he meets. So optimistic, so loving, so.. so... Lovino squeezed the pillow and dug his head into the surface, hiding the tears that streamed down his face. "Perfect." He mumbled, finishing his thoughts.

When he awoke the next morning, he wast still clutching his pillow, eyes crusty from crying the night before. Thankfully, his grandfather allowed him to sleep in though he was nervous that Roma was pitying him. That was _not _what he needed. Coming down the stairs stiffly, he realized just how hard he worked the other day. Every muscle in his body screamed with every step he took. With a groan, he slid himself carefully into the dining room seat, already filled with all kinds of delectable breakfast meals. Feli and Roma were once again at the TV but now they were shouting out answers to 'Jeopardy', not even regarding his existence. It made him sick. Lovino would never be as close to Roma as Feliciano was, or anyone for that matter. Whenever he would like someone or that someone would like him, no, withstand him, Feliciano would just burst into the scene with his colorful personality. And Lovino would be left alone again. Closing his eyes with a sigh, he shoved some eggs into his mouth only to spit them out from the heat. "Angwh!"

"Oh! You're up, Lovino! Good morning!" Feliciano beamed from the couch, Roma only regarding his grandson with a glance and a smile. Lovino didn't smile, only went back to eating his breakfast. The two men on the sofa just made a funny, angry-mocking face to each other and went back to the TV. Just as Lovino began on to his toast, the doorbell sung through the house. They all looked towards the door in curiosity. No one really came around this part of Tuscany unless they were friends or family visiting, though they hadn't been expecting anyone. Unwrapping himself from Feliciano's lounged body, Roma trudged to the door and opened it. There was a letter on the doorstep yet no one to be seen. Lovino didn't get up from the table when Roma came back, admiring the fine handwriting bemusedly. "What is it, Grandpa?" Feliciano inquired, leaning himself on the edge of the sofa.

"I don't know. It's all fancy and hand-written though. Maybe it's from one of your friends, Feliciano?" Feliciano's face brightened at this and hopped from the sofa.

"Let me see, let me see!" Opening the letter, there was more very nicely written hand writing on the inside. Lovino watched as Roma and Feliciano read over the letter suddenly looking up at Lovino with shock. He shifted uncomfortably, mouth full of toast.

"W-what?" He stated fully, swallowing a large gulp and making it more clear to speak, "What is it? What does it say?" Blinking, he watched as they went back to reading.

"It's from the neighbors. They want to formally thank the man that helped them yesterday." Roma said in a puzzled manor. Lovino's face brightened. _Yes! They surely must believe me now!_

"See! I told you I helped a man yesterday!" He boasted, wiping his mouth with the table cloth. Both Roma and Feli searched up and down the document for any kind of trick writing or hidden message but found none.

"Y-you're right. I'm sorry we did not believe you, Lovino. My mistake." Roma admitted sheepishly, slipping the letter back in the envelope. "You shall meet with them at noon it says for lunch.

"Huh?" Blinking, Lovino recalled the man that couldn't speak Italian and regarded him as the help. He blushed in embarrassment. "No I'm not. They thought I was the help! I'm not going over there!" Roma stifled a laugh at this but forced a straight face.

"Do not be impolite, Lovino. I and Feli will also join you so don't worry." This caused him to spit the orange juice was drinking all over the table.

"_What? Why?!_" Not only did they want to damage his pride but they wanted to further the humiliation?! But Roma seemed delighted at this.

"Because, Lovino, what better way to hold something above ones head than the owing of a life? With what you pulled yesterday, I might be able to finally get that deed of theirs!" Lovino scowled from the table.

"Then why does Feli have to come?!"

"Translator of course."

"You just made that excuse up off of the top of your head!"

"But still necessary." Lovino groaned and burried his head in his hands. _God I hate my family._

As the clock struck noon, Roma dragged Lovino across their yard to the neighbor's front door. Wearing nice, Sunday clothes, Lovino grudgingly knocked at the door, taking not at how shabby of a place it was. The stone was stained with rust all around the side and the windows were sun bleached and dirty. There were weeds everywhere and overgrown bushes all over the place. He shifted uncomfortably and muttered something foul to himself before the door opened revealing a very feminine man with blonde hair tied back in a loose ponytail. Lovino could feel Roma tingling with joy at how everyone in the house seemed to be young men. _Creep._

"Bonjour! Welcome, welcome!" The man cooed, issuing them in and hiding the surprise at how many people actually came. He spoke in English but his dialect was definitely French.

"Bonjour. Merci de nous avoir invités à votre domicile!" Feliciano beamed to him as he passed by. The blond man's eyes went wide and he grinned wide. _Fucking show off. _Lovino thought, trudging into the house where the albino from before stood at the kitchen, chopping tomatoes. Glancing over at the trio he looked shock but put on a fake smile.

"Oh. Hello. I was not expecting so many... people. You must forgive me I will make more food." Turning back to the chopping, he seemed to chop harder now, mind rushing with hope that it wouldn't cause Antonio any anxiety. Speaking of which, Lovino traveled his eye from the living room to the back door where just yesterday he had been cursing to. On the porch, as always, a man in a blazer and jeans stood, a glass in his hand, staring out across the field. _Well at least the guy's okay. _He thought as the albino approached them. "My name Gilbert. You have already met Francis." He gestured to the blonde who couldn't keep his eyes off of Feli with wonder. "and my friend out there is Antonio. He.. wished to speak to your grandson alone I think." He stated lowly, gazing up at Roma and trying to fight the glare that he so wanted to give. The man in front of him had caused his family so much annoyance over the past few years, and every bit of that annoyance he was fighting to not show. But Roma saw, and Roma smiled. With a massive hand and even more massive grin, he shook Gilbert ferociously in a hand shake.

"Ciao amico mio! Molto piacere di conoscerti!" Roma boomed which Feli shortly translated after the confused look Gilbert gave.

"He says hello, very nice to meet you." Feli gave a benevolant smile that made Lovi's stomach churn. As expected, Gilbert couldn't help but smile back, only falling once he had to regard Roma again.

"Please, seat yourself in the living room. I will have snacks shortly." As the family turned towards the living room, Gilbert stopped Lovino and pointed towards the patio. "You should go sit at the table outside. Like I said, he'd like to speak to you."

Roma suddenly turned to say something and Feli quickly translated, "He says that whatever he has to say to Lovino, he can say with him in the room." Lovino turned towards Roma with a glare and his grandfather's face sharpened stubbornly.

"Bene, bene!" Roma grumbled, waving an arm and sitting on the couch as Lovino was lead out to the porch. He was sure the man in the blazer knew he was there, but did not look to him nor regarded him in any way. Just simply twirled the ice in his drink. Taking a seat at a table that was definitely not there before, he looked down at his fingers and decided to finally say something after a long moment of silence.

"H-hello?" One of the only words he knew in English. The man finally turned, a warm smile on his cheeks and laughter in his eyes. Lovino was taken at first by how kind those eyes were, and how the green just shined right through him.

"Ciao. It is very nice to meet you." The man said with a smile in Italian, which Lovino was thoroughly impressed by, despite the thick accent infused with it.

"You speak Italian?"

"Enough." He said simply, coming down to set the glass onto the table and taking a seat. "I don't suppose you speak English?" Lovino looked away.

"Less than enough.." At this the man's face lifted into a soft laugh that Lovino hated to admit he enjoyed hearing. It was one of those laughs one would yearn to listen to.

"Than we shall continue in Italian. How are you?"

"Look, I don't know what you want to talk about or what you want to talk to me for. But I'd rather us just skip to it." Lovino growled, watching as the man blinked in surprise, though returned to its former bliss.

"I brought you here to thank you for saving my life."

"I didn't save your life. Your friends did." He grumbled. Sure he'd say that he saved the man's life to his family, but now.. for some reason he found himself rather shy and inwardly drawn.

"But they would not have known I'd collapsed if you had not alerted them. So I thank you." Antonio's eyes stared into the young man who was now twiddling his thumbs, an awkward silence drifting forward and weighing down the air. Antonio spoke again. "Might I learn your name, friend?"

"My name's Lovino. And I'm not your friend. I don't even know you." He stated stubbornly but the man just smiled.

"My name is Antonio. And I beg to differ, for you know the most crucial thing about me." Lovino's face contorted in confusion and Antonio reached for his glass. "I am an ill man, Lovino. A reason why I am in this home to begin with. My friends thought they could bring me to the country side to heal, but I got a little ahead of myself yesterday." Lovino's eyes softened. He couldn't have been more than thirty.. so young to be ill.

"How bad is it?" Lovino asked curiously. Antonio laughed.

"Nothing more than an insistent cold, I assure you."

"It's not contagious is it?!" Lovino stiffened scooching back in his chair. Again that delightful laugh.

"No, no not at all. Even so.. I find myself struggling to do simple tasks sometimes. And I was wondering if you would like to aid me this summer." The young man grimaced.

"I'm not the help."

"Yes I know. Though your uniform screamed otherwise the other day." Lovino blushed in embarrassment.

"_That was my grandfather's idea! _I don't work."

"Would you like to?" Lovino glanced him but found himself trapped in Antonio's green eyes. They were so confident, so happy, so... mesmerizing. And the way he looked at him made it seem like he'd rather pay all his attention on Lovino than anyone else. It was.. nice. For once he didn't feel overlooked. "You would be payed well." Antonio added, still gazing deep into Lovino's eyes. Looking down to think, Roma suddenly was bursting through the door, Gilbert looking as if to murder.

"Of course he will take the job! He has no choice!"

"What?! No I won't!" Lovino immediately shouted in defiance.

"Oh yes you will!"

"No I won't!"

But as the two argued and Francis was scooching ever more closer to Feliciano in the living room Antonio spoke up, clear and bold. "It is Lovino's choice. I will accept no other answer accept for his." They both went silent and Lovino blinked in amazement. He didn't care what anyone said accept Lovino, he finally could decide on his own. On one hand, laziness and stubbornness made him flinch away from the offer, but on the other hand, he found being around this man that seemed so collected and interested in Lovino.. refreshing. Even though he hated giving into his grandfather's desires, Lovino nodded and looked away.

"Fine."

* * *

_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_


	5. Admitting is the First Step

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

_Antonio's song: watch?v=JcaSIh9rDy8_

* * *

_What the hell have I gotten myself into? _Lovino thought to himself as he ventured up to the neighbors door. The other day he had been so flattered by the man's attention that he'd completely undermined his own desires. And worse off, he'd appeased his bossy grandfather's orders. _God I'm such an idiot. _As he knocked on the door, it was Gilbert, the annoying albino from before that answered. A sneer curved upon his lips. "What are you wearing?!" Lovino just looked at him, lost in translation as he wore one of the helper's clothes. Another idea from his grandfather. His face scrunched up in defiance to the man's attitude.

"I'm here damn it. Now tell me whatever I have to do, pay me, and lets get this over with!" Being well aware the German couldn't speak Italian, he allowed more attitude than usual to slip. When the German finally let him in, he dragged himself into the kitchen where Francis was making lunch. Glancing over, he waved at Lovino, almost flirtatiously, and continued sizzling bacon in the pan. The smell was simply intoxicating. But scent was not the only sense illuminated in the building. There was a faint sound, cautious almost in its harmonic nature. It was the sound of a strumming guitar.

Following the sound, he was lead out to the porch again, Antonio's form seen resting on top of the wall, one leg lazily hung on the side. The song he played was unfamiliar to Lovino, but beautiful all the same.

_"Estoy pensando que no tiene sentido_  
_volver a encontrarme de nuevo contigo_  
_estoy pensando que me doy por vencido_  
_que todo se acaba mas yo no he entendido"_

For a long while, it was as if the music froze him in place. So much so, that he didn't even think about sitting down or releasing himself from said trance. So he simply stood there, staring, listening, never wanting the song to end. But when it did, it was as if an angel had cleansed him of worries. His anger and frustration of his home just disappeared for that moment, especially when Antonio finally turned, a look of merry surprise on his face. "Ciao, Lovino." It was only then he realized his mouth was hanging open and he closed it promptly.

"That was um... that was really.. good." He muttered, rubbing the back of his head. Antonio blinked at this and smiled graciously.

"You liked it?"

"I said it was good didn't I?" Lovino grumbled, soaking in the man's sweet laughter. It was as if he was magnetic, for even Lovino, someone so opposite of the entirety of society, was drawn to him. "what... what was it about? If I may ask?" Antonio smiled brightly and set the guitar down gently on the side of the wall, shifting his balance to gracefully hop from the wall.

"I'm thinking it doesn't make since, to meet with you again. I'm thinking of giving up, for it's all over and I don't understand." he sang, though the words weren't as beautiful in Italian. "And I ask God to fill me with strength, pure greatness, weapons of courage and skill, to understand that it makes no sense, to meet with you again." Lovino just stared at him, his face so calm and relaxed, softened jaw and closed eyes, as if he was deeply listening to the song in his head. And he just might've been.

"So.. the song is about leaving someone?" Antonio opened his eyes at this, looking over at Lovino with a pure smile.

"Not at all, mi amigo, for it is of love. In the song, it's of someone who loves another, and finally accepts that it makes no sense. Quite beautiful really."

"I don't get it." Antonio laughed and took the guitar, placing a gentle hand on Lovino's shoulder and leading him into the house. Once they entered the dining room, the table had already been set with breakfast of all kinds, though once more, the breakfast was unfamiliar of Lovino. All kinds of weird colors and shapes were mixed in with the food instead of his own simple Italian breakfast.

"Come, eat whatever you'd like. You are our guest." Antonio stated waving an arm to the table. Lovino just stayed still and looked at his watch.

"I'm fine. I already ate." Antonio's face fell slight and his friends' brows twitched, eyes directed to the young man.

"Well alright then. If you'd like any wine from the cabinet, feel free-"

"I only drink wine from my Grandpa's vineyard. Sorry." Now Gilbert was hanging on the edge of slapping the boy only to be immediately glared at by Antonio. He smiled to Lovino and nodded.

"Then perhaps you could get some wine from your house and we can-"

"It's way too far away and I'm already here, just tell me what I have to do."

"I'm done." Gilbert stated suddenly, turning on a heel and exiting the door, keys in hand. "Francis, make sure that kid doesn't get Antonio killed, okay?" Francis awkwardly nodded and Lovino just shrugged.

"What's his problem?"

"I have not a clue. Uno momente." Antonio laughed gesturing to the blond man who currently was hanging up his apron. Antonio suddenly said something in English making Francis turn immediately to the cupboards and take out several tiny, orange, pill bottles. Counting a certain number from each bottle, he brought the pills to Antonio with a glass of orange juice and Antonio smiled back at him. Lovino watched as the man before him threw the pills to the back of his mouth and drank the orange juice. "My apologies. So anyways, about that vineyard of yours."

"How many pills were those?! Are you going to overdose?!" Lovino appeared horrified but Antonio and Francis just giggled at his ignorance.

"No, no, Lovino, do not worry. These were prescribed to me by my doctor. They are my morning dose."

"All those are just for the morning? Then how many do you take at night?!"

"About double as much, but those include sleeping pills, so really it's only about one and a half parts more."

"Jesus.." Antonio forced a smile Lovino, suddenly feeling guilty for taking the dosage in front of him.

"Anyways.. please, tell me about your vineyard. I am very curious on how one starts a vineyard." Lovino shrugged, wiping the shock from his face and rubbing the back of his head.

"I don't know much. That's my Grandpa's jurisdiction."

"You mean you don't help out at all?" Even though Antonio didn't mean for it to be an accusation, Lovino felt hurt by this and his face darkened.

"_I do help! I swear I do.. _I do.." The outburst made Antonio blink and it seemed the air just thickened with tension. Francis said something about a 'phone call' and 'leaving you alone' before disappearing into the hallway and up the stairs.

"Lovino.. is there something wrong?" He asked, attempting to reach out a comforting hand to Lovino's shoulder, but it was just swatted away. He watched as Lovino swiped tears from his eyes, face reddening.

Lovino hated himself instantly for crying in front of this man, revealing his imperfections. _Great. So you know now. You know that I'm nothing but an idiotic, useless mistake. So go ahead. Go ahead and leave me alone like everyone els-_Suddenly Antonio wrapped his arms around Lovino, pulling him in for a close hug. This scared him at first and he tried to push the man away, but it was only half-hearted as he soon gave up, collapsing into this strange man's arms. _Why the hell am I opening to this man, a complete stranger!? I only met him yesterday.. why does he make it feel like it's okay to cry? God damn it.. _He continued to sob into the man's shoulder as Antonio brought Lovino to the couch, stroking his hair gently. When the sobs started to fade to just simple sniffles, Antonio finally spoke up, "Lovino, you can talk to me if you'd like. I won't judge."

"Why should I tell you?" He cried suddenly, looking up at Antonio with red, soggy eyes. "Why should I trust you, a man that I just met, with my emotions!?"

Antonio's face was solemn yet confident. "Because you saved my life, Lovino. I wish to pay back the debt in any way I can and if it's by being a shoulder to cry on, I will happily ablidge." His voice so genuine. Those words were usually spoken by uncomfortable people who pitied Lovino and just wanted to get it over with, or were pretending to be the person Antonio truly was. He was confident with every word he said and not a fake tone in sight.

Lovino slid away from Antonio on the couch, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the close contact. Wiping his eyes, he raised slowly and stated. "I came here to work for you. So please, just tell me what I need to do so I can be done with it." He couldn't possibly unload everything on this man. Not only was he practically a stranger, but he had no reason to. There was no way his situation would be fixed or that Roma would magically start loving him equally if not more than Feliciano. It was changes that he himself needed to fix and he realized this but could not grasp the understanding on how to do such a thing. Antonio looked at him for a long while with a concerned expression on his face but all the same lead him to underneath the porch where the stakes could be found.

"Since yesterday I've gotten an earful of how I can't continue making a vineyard, as I so wish to do. I would be very grateful if you could instead take my place."

"You want me to make an entire vineyard by myself? With no help?" Lovino asked in disbelief. At his vineyard there were over forty-plus helpers to make and keep up the grape vines. It was impossible for Lovino, a non-working man, to work the portion of forty-plus men. "I-I can't. It's impossible."

"Do not worry Lovino, there is no rush. You may take as long as you'd like. Whenever you need a snack or refreshments, I will get whatever you'd like. If you don't want to on some day, do not hesitate to take the day off." Lovino eyed the man skeptically. It was as if Antonio didn't even care if the vineyard would get done at all.

"Is there a period of time I have to get it done in?"

"Not at all. It is completely of your choosing."

"Okay. Then I'm not going to do it today." Crossing his arms he tested Antonio with a smirk. But the man just gleamed.

"That is fine. If you'd like, you could watch some TV instead."

"Wait. You weren't kidding about that?"

"About what?"

"Me not having to work if I don't want to."

"Oh, but you _are_ working, Lovino. You are.. helping me." Antonio winked at him and slipped his hands into his pockets with a grin. Lovino couldn't believe it, this guy was paying him to do absolutely nothing for the whole summer? _This is insane!_

The rest of the day was spent with the two just watching TV on the sofa, their legs tugged underneath the blankets as they watched cartoons. Lovino couldn't help but wonder though, why the man was so lenient to whatever Lovino wanted to do. There was an atmosphere as if he should be doing something for him, or helping him in some way yet Antonio never once asked for anything from him accept to simply keep him company. While it was odd, it was.. nice too. When Gilbert finally came back, Lovino was just getting ready to leave. The German glanced at the three-as Francis had joined them on the sofa-with a confused look but decided to hold his tongue until Lovino left the premises. As he exited the door, Antonio called after him, "And tomorrow, please wear your regular clothes. Have a good night!" Lovino waved back and quickly moved past Gilbert, out the door, and towards his own house.

"... So did he help you at all?" Gilbert asked, setting down a few boxes of prescription drugs on the counter. They were directly from the hospital which made Antonio's stomach clench. Every time there were drugs directly from the hospital, he knew they were experimental to test what was best for his condition, usually ending badly for him. But he ignored this for now.

"We decided to take it easy today." Gilbert's brow twitched.

"So you've been letting him lay around all day and not do a damn thing?"

"He can do whatever he wants for now."

"What is this, Antonio? What are you doing?" Gilbert suddenly said in a sharp tone, hands on his hips. And blinked in surprise at the sudden change of voice.

"What do you mean, Gilbe-"

"_You know what I mean_. The boy. Why did you hire him in the first place?" Antonio's face suddenly became more serious as he turned towards Gilbert.

"To help with the vineyard, as you two are obviously too busy to."

"_Bull shit_." Gilbert was struggling to keep his voice down. "I know what you're trying to do Antonio. If you really wanted help building that damn vineyard than you would have made him do it already... You like him. Don't you?" Antonio didn't reply, and the silence was all Gilbert needed to hear. "Jesus, Antonio..."

"_What_?! So just because I have a condition means I can't let my heart wander?!"

"_That's precisely what it means. _You don't even have enough of a heart to let wander!" Jaw clenching, Antonio struck his eyes to the floor.

"How do you know if I'd even act upon my emotions? If I'd be that stupid?"

"Because you're stupid enough to go out in the sun and try to build a goddamn vineyard by yourself."

"Then I won't act on them." He said simply, but the light of his eyes seemed to be gone from sight. Francis, who had been awkwardly seated on the couch, looked at Antonio with concern.

"Antonio..Y-"

"No." Antonio abruptly said. "Gilbert's right. It would not be fair to the boy. Even if the emotions were returned." There was a heavy silence, Antonio's face dark and eyes glued to the coffee table.

"Oh fick mich." Gilbert leaned against the counter as if suddenly tired, "why do I always have to be the bad guy? I'm sorry, Antonio. I really am. But at least you know why I say the things I say." Antonio just nodded.

"I think I'll just take my nightly dose and go to bed." His two friends said nothing as he got up off the sofa and moved towards the kitchen. Counting out his pills and swallowing them with a glass of water, he made his way to bed with out another word. But sleep was not what plagued his mind, despite the amount of sleeping pills in his dosage, for as he finally drifted off into drugged dreams, the face of a certain, scowling boy painted a picture in his head.

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_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_


	6. Evicted

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

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"So how was your first day as a working man, mio nipote?" Roma asked in his usual husky voice, scooping some eggs into his mouth at the breakfast table. Feliciano looked on in interest but Lovino just shrugged.

"Fine. But it was my second day actually.." referring to the day his grandpa stuck him out in the fields, Lovino looked down at his plate nonchalantly while grandfather chuckled.

"Oh, no no that wasn't working because you weren't making money. You finally have a job for yourself with a good pay. I hope your breaking your back for them."

"I am really feeling the love, Grandpa," He muttered under his breath before taking a bite of some ham and toast.

"I do love you, mio nipote, and I especially love that you're finally getting off your ass and doing something responsible for once."

"_For once?!"_ Lovino repeated venomously. Feliciano sank a little lower in his chair.

"Guys, could we just enjoy our breakfast and-"

"_But of course._ All you've done since you graduated is stay at home and sip lemonade on the back porch, watching _real _men work their asses off. And all the while you think you're so high and mighty."

"Look who's talking, _Grandpa!_ All I ever see you do is watch the fucking TV and talk about wine all day, but you're not in the fields are you?! You're not doing shit are you?!"

"_I've done my time, boy. You watch your fucking mouth."_

_"That's all you ever say to me is for me to be 'responsible', 'watch your mouth, Lovino', 'don't disrespect me, Lovino'. _Oh it's not like I'm my own fucking person! No, no, I'm just one of your goddamn puppets to jerk around whenever you're bored!" A chair was thrown backwards, skidding across the floor as Roma suddenly appeared in front of Lovino his hand drawing back angrily as the young man flinched back in his chair, a sharp cry coming out from Feliciano.

"_Please stop it!" _Feliciano cried, for some reason flinching back in his own chair. But the difference between his posture and Lovino's was that Lovino's was with every bit of defiance in the world, eyes glaring up at his grandfather with a burning inferno deep within them. Roma lowered his hand slowly, eyes cold.

"Get out of my house."

"Grandpa!" Feli tried to object but Roma gestured a swift hand to the boy. Lovino just stared at him trying his best to hide the shock behind his defiant mask.

"Until you know exactly how much you've been provided for your whole life, how much work _I've _given to providing for you, you are not welcome under my roof." His voice was strict yet calm now. Whether it was because of his defiance or because of the shock, Lovino could not move from the seat, which only made Roma's voice angrier. "_I SAID GET OUT." _

Instantly it verbally struck Lovino out of the chair, sprinting out of the house and finally allowing the tears to drain from his face. In big swells, he tried to wipe them away but they just kept pouring and finally he began gasping for breath as he sobbed on the front lawn. He was just kicked out. He was just kicked out of his house by that bastard... "_godDAMNIT!" _He screamed, punching the air and kicking the ground. Taking several deep breaths, he looked at the neighboring Villa, a face coming into mind and a certain welcoming atmosphere. _Maybe he could help me... he's always been so kind to me after all. Always putting me on a pedestal. Yes! I'll show my grandfather! _Walking up to the steps, still vigorously crying, he desperately wiped the tears from his eyes and knocked on the door.

The blonde Frenchman answered, his eyes at first happy but as he looked down and found the tears upon Lovino's flushed cheeks, his face instantly dropped. "Oh dear, mon ami.. are okay?" The Italian was poor but the concern was still real. Lovino tried to push forward words but they all stuck as a ball in his throat only to sob out incoherently. "You aren't needed for another hour." Francis continued, shifting uneasily and checking his watch.

"I know I know.. I just... needed to speak to ... Antonio." He cried, barely being able to speak through the tears. Francis' eyes softened but he knew that if he were to let the young Italian in, Gilbert would have a fit. He had been so strict these past few days with all the visitors Antonio had been getting that really didn't care about his well being what so ever. And the German especially didn't like any of Roma's family visiting Antonio despite Antonio's fascination with Lovino. But unlike Gilbert, Francis understood Antonio's reasons for hiring Lovino and understood why he so badly wanted him around. Lovino was like a breath of fresh air to the murkiness of their lives, a steady island within a swamp. Everyone was so concerned always with Antonio that to have Lovino, so self-absorbed as the young man was, it must've been refreshing for Antonio. Francis immediately let him in.

"He is in the living room." Francis said with a final word, gesturing to the direction of said room. Lovino abidingly entered, for some reason wanting to mask his sobs from the strumming of a guitar. Gilbert was in the kitchen and when he heart the 'hic' sound of Lovino's uneven breath, his eyes instantly darkened and searched Francis who just gazed at him sternly. The German didn't say another word. As Lovino entered the living room, Antonio held the guitar on his lap, strumming away at the acoustic strings a slow, beautiful melody before the sound Lovino entered his ears. Antonio looked up and Lovino wanted to just leap into those warm, green eyes, turning heated with concern.

"Lovino!" Instantly the Spaniard placed the guitar to his side and practically leaped off the sofa, clutching Lovino by the shoulders. "Lovino, what is wrong?" Again, that ball in his throat dragged any words down, translating them only to incoherent sobs. When the tears thickened and Antonio pulled him into a tight hug, he finally let himself go and sobbed into the man's shirt. All the while, Antonio stroked the Lovino's hair and whispered into his scalp, "Shh shh.. it's alright. I'm here." Which only caused Lovino to cling to him as Antonio eased them back onto the sofa. It took around fifteen minutes to finally ease the sobbing to just sniffling and the calming of his own breath. Gilbert and Francis, meanwhile, awkwardly watched the scene before them. Francis desperately tried to get Gilbert to leave, perhaps them going to town or some excuse like that but Gilbert would not leave Antonio alone in the room with Lovino. Not until Antonio snapped a look towards them instantly turning their bodies to the door. When the crying stopped, he was relieved Lovino didn't pull away this time and instead just leaned against his chest as he continued stroking the boy's hair. "Will you tell me what is wrong, mi amigo? What has gotten you so worked up?"

Lovino inhaled sharply and mustered a steady enough breath to finally speak, looking up at Antonio with sad, glossy eyes. "I... I was kicked out of my house. M-my grandpa and I had a big fight, and he kicked me out." Antonio sympathetically pulled him in again to his chest.

"Oh Lovino, I'm so sorry."

"No... no who am I kidding. I deserved it. I don't do shit. I never have. I've always taken for granted what my Grandfather does but when I finally try to show him that I'm worth something.. it's like nothing I do exists. I'm forever labelled as just a lazy, insignificant-"

"Stop it." Came the sharp reply, his voice vibrating against Lovino's head. "You are a wonderful person, Lovino. Do not listen to your Grandfather, for he is obviously too narrow minded to see that he has raised a fine young man." Lovino pulled away slightly, only to bemusedly search Antonio's face for any lies.

"You don't know me." He didn't mean his voice to be so pitiful, but it certainly came out as such, "how could you label me so glamorously when you have not met me prior to but two days ago?! You are judging me so highly and I don't understand. I'm just a piece of shit."

"You're not, Lovino." Antonio's tone was strict and confident. _Always so damn confident. _Lovino didn't flinch away when Antonio wiped the tears from his face with his finger. "You are very responsible. You ran to me when I collapsed in that field. You pushed to have my friends understand you even though they obviously did not know what you were saying, all to save me. You agreed to accept my offer of a job, even though you obviously hate working. You listen to your Grandfather's every word it seems, even if you put on a mask of defiance, but it is he who is ignorant if he truly cannot see behind that mask what a responsible young man you are." Lovino couldn't understand, why was he so kind? Why did he make him feel so apparent, so visible? Made him feel like he was important somehow and equal to his own ego? He just couldn't understand.

"Why are you so kind to me.." he said suddenly, a sob in his voice but no more tears to be found. Antonio's eyes warmed with a smile.

"Because you deserve kindness."

Lovino looked at him with wide eyes, so unfamiliar to being treated in a dignified manor and not just as an egotistical mooch. Then, he decided to try something, something that he was confident would be welcomed. "Could I.. could I possibly stay with you, Antonio?" To Lovino's shock, Antonio's smile dropped into a frown immediately.

"No." _No?__ I don't fucking understand! You just built me up to drop me?! _

"But?! I have no where else to go! Please!" Antonio's heart lurched at this, and he mentally kicked himself. But he could not allow the man he was beginning to care for more and more to see the extent of his illness, and the nights were always the worst. He could pretend his best that is was non existent during the day but there was a reason a sleeping pill was part of his dose. The night prescription was violent, sometimes causing him to shout and writhe in his sleep. He could never let Lovino know...

"I'm sorry, Lovino. I have my reasons."

"_Fuck your reasons!_" Again the fucking tears. He pushed away from Antonio, desperately wiping at his face, but now it was as if he'd been hit by a truck. "I thought you wanted me around! I thought that you wanted to be my emotional pillar or what ever you said!"

"_I do, _Lovino." This was breaking his heart. "But there are some things that you just need to accept."

"Like you being an asshole! Yeah I fucking accept that!" With this, he turned sharply just as Francis and Gilbert were returning into the house. Marching between them, pushing them slightly, he stomped out of the house and into the yard. _There was no way he was sleeping outdoors._ He thought, looking around mischievously before deciding to hide within the bushes of the house. He would wait there all day if needed, and once the household would finally quiet down he could slip into the house and sleep on the couch. _Antonio couldn't kick him out. He was too nice. _In an instance, there was a pang of guilt with this thought, but he quickly wiped it away like the rest of his emotions.

Meanwhile, Antonio's breathing had become rapid. The argument between the two was causing his heart to beat furiously in his chest and he quickly tried to calm himself, emotions fighting every serene thought he forced into his mind. Gilbert and Francis quickly grabbed an ice back from the freezer and insisted Antonio to drink some cold water which the man greatly accepted. "What the hell happened?!" Gilbert growled, noting Lovino's face as he stormed out of the house. "I thought that you two were having some sap-fest or something. How did it turn hostile?!" Antonio just shook his head, not being able to speak at the moment, eyes red to suppress his emotions.

"He hates me." He finally was able to spit out, gripping the table as his friends rubbed his back therapeutically. "He fucking hates me.."

"What happened, mon ami?" Francis cooed soothingly.

"We... we were talking. A-and he wanted to stay with me... b-but I couldn't. I couldn't let him know... He couldn't know.." Closing his eyes he inhaled deeply, finally returning to a normal state. Gilbert traded a knowing look with Francis, then said in a comforting, calm tone.

"You did the right thing, Antonio."

"_Then why does it hurt so badly?!_"

"The excitement. You haven't taken your morning dose. Francis!" Gilbert quickly ordered, the man rushing to the kitchen and urgently taking the proper pills from the cabinet and handing them to Antonio with a glass of water. But to the two mens' shock, Antonio swatted them away and onto the ground.

"I'm so tired of this! I'm tired of the fucking drugs, I'm tired of my fucking condition. I'm tired of all of it. I can't fucking have feeling for someone in fear of my heart bursting-_god!_" Antonio was now holding his head in his hands, "why did I have to become like this? What cruel fucking God would do this to me!? Tell me, Gilbert. _What have I done to deserve this?!" _But Gilbert just looked grimly at Antonio, not finding any words that could properly comfort the Spaniard, so instead, he just hugged him and rubbed his back gently.

"I'm sorry, Antonio... I know you care about him. Maybe after your transplant, you can finally find someone and-"

"Don't be fucking naive, Gilbert. And please, don't take me as a fool." Antonio said in a dark tone. ".. we both know I won't make the transplant. They'll keep pushing it back until my heart's ready to give and then they'll finally agree. That's what they do. That's what they've always done." For once, the man's bright eyes were dull, almost grey in comparison to their usually firey-green hue. The two friends sat next to him, staring at him with solemn expression, not knowing what to say. This whole time Antonio had been the optimistic one, always taking life one stride at a time,but now, they didn't know how to be the optimistic ones for him. They didn't know how to comfort him without blatantly lying, only to be discovered.

"Antonio. Please take the pills." Gilbert finally said quietly after a long trail of silence. After a moment, Antonio nodded the slightest amount and Francis gathered new pills and took them to him with a glass of water. As Antonio downed the pills, Gilbert scraped the few off the floor from before and threw them in the trash. Muttering under his breath, he grabbed the keys from the counter and went towards the door, "at least you spared the boy's heart.."

As Lovino heard the door open beside the bushes, he shrunk back, pressing himself against the weed-curtained stones as the German man made his way to the car. He was walking sluggishly, shoulders dropped and grim expression on his face which made Lovino's mind race. He stayed quiet as he wondered what had happened once he left, but it wasn't until he saw Gilbert drive off in the his black porche that the young man moved around the building to the back of the lot. Climbing onto the deck, he peered in through the glass door, seeing Antonio laying down on the couch, sleeping, eyes red and puffy. _He was crying? But why?_ There was another sharp pang of guilt that rose within him but shock took it's place as he jumped into the air in response to a," what are you doing, mon ami?" from behind him.

Peering over his shoulder slowly, heart racing, he saw the Frenchman, arms crossed, and face solemn as he looked at the man. But Lovino didn't know how to reply. He couldn't say that he was planning to break into their house and sleep in their home uninvited. He wouldn't dare, so instead he made up an excuse off the top of his head. "I-I was just grabbing some of the stakes. I was going to work in the field.. I _do_ work today."

"I assumed after the little fight you had with Antonio that you'd go somewhere else."

"Well you assumed wrong." He struck back, but Francis hardly registered the sting of his words.

"You really hurt him you know..." _What? I did? But.. he didn't act like it!_ His heart was racing faster and his face was becoming flushed.

"Well he hurt me too! He let me believe he was kind and I could trust him, but then he just stabs me in the ba-"

"Don't you _dare_ talk about him like that." The man's voice was calm but at the same time venomous. "Antonio might find use in you, might see you as a simple delight, _darling, _but your attitude is _foul_. You don't see anyone's problems as higher than your own and you'd do well to understand the lengths Antonio goes to to preserve that little ego of yours." Every bite was taken greatly but for some reason, the defiance that Lovino wanted to throw back at him washed away by the concern in Francis' voice for Antonio.

"What do you mean..?" This didn't make since as he gazed up into the blond's blue eyes that were half-lidded in shame.

"Don't you know anything of why Antonio can't do simple tasks?"

"He's sick." Lovino said simply.

"Do you know exactly how _sick_ he is, mon ami?"

Lovino blinked questioningly up at Francis, recalling the conversation Antonio had exchanged with him the first day they talked. "I thought it was just a cold.." Francis through his head back in a sharp laugh.

"A cold? He really is keeping you in the dark, isn't he?" This shocked Lovino, his mind yearning to reach out and shake the answers from Francis.

"What does that mean?!" He shouted, fists clenching.

"Nothing." Francis suddenly stated, turning away. "It is not my place to say, and I have certainly said too much already." Lovino growled in aggravation, but didn't even know if he wanted to find out the extent of Antonio's illness. Seeing the boy not try to answer, Francis smirked and traveled back up to the house. "If you need somewhere to stay, feel free to sleep on our porch. Though I recommend keeping out of sight of Gilbert and Antonio. I'll provide a blanket, but that is all." Lovino didn't see this as kindness, he didn't see it as anything but pity. He was too involved at wondering what Francis meant by the entire thing.

_Exactly how sick was Antonio?_

* * *

_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_


	7. The Truth is Revealed

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

_Lovino's song: watch?v=b7r-bLlYRKs_

* * *

When the sun set and dusk greeted Lovino in its warm embrace, he thanked the lord for it being a warmer, clear night. Eyes venturing from the stars and moon above to his home so far away now, his heart shot with a pang of ache. _What have I done? _he asked himself, struggling to keep the thoughts of his own betrayal down. Everywhere he went he'd mess something up and someone would get mad at him. At first he thought it was himself being lazy, irresponsible, then egotistical, and now just hot-headed and ignorant. The list could go on on all his faults but his mind just kept traveling painfully back to Antonio who had never once lost faith in him. No matter what he'd done, Antonio had always reassured him to be a good person, and he had taken that faith of his and stabbed him in the back. _I truly am a horrible person. _He thought solemnly, tucking his nose into the covers kindly provided to him by Francis. It was rare to see Francis angry, every time he'd seen him prior there was such a calm joy in his eyes or at that, anxiousness or nervousness. But never anger, it had seemed the the blonde had hit his breaking point earlier that day which only urged on Lovino's raging curiosity into Antonio's box of secrets._  
_

Suddenly, there was the snap of a twig on the opposite side of the porch, making Lovino jump suddenly at the noise. Staring into the fading darkness, he tried to search out the source of the sound, and saw a figure crawling towards him. Terrified, he opened his mouth to scream but a cold hand smacked his lips shut, "SHH!" Feliciano's voice sounded, his brother's eyes sparkling in the gleam of the moon. "It's just me, fratello!"

"Feli!?" He whispered in surprise as his brother removed the hand from his lips. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. It is lonely without you at home." For a moment, Lovino just stared at Feli, but to find someone who wasn't angry at him in some way made him suddenly feel very emotional and he wrapped his arms around his brother tightly. Feliciano smiled and pulled him closer into the hug, eyes scanning the make-shift bed. "Did Antonio leave you with those sheets?" Feliciano asked curiously.

"No. Francis did. Antonio.. doesn't know I'm out here."

Feliciano blinked at this. "He doesn't? Wait, he didn't let you stay?" Feli turned, placing a finger on his chin in bemusement. "That's odd.. I could have swore.."

"He hates me.." Lovino interrupted, his whisper full of self-loathing. "I did something terrible and now he hates me." Feli looked at him sincerely and placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

"Antonio doesn't hate you, Lovino." His brother smiled but Lovino just turned away.

"He does. I said some horrible things, there would be no reason for him not to hate me."

"He doesn't hate you, Lovino." Feli repeated, "he can't hate you. He likes you." Lovino stared at Feli in surprise, questioning the warm smile on his brother's face.

"What?" Well of course he liked him, it was obvious by the show of kindness and smiles and warm eyes. But Lovino couldn't help thinking there was something more to Feliciano's term 'like'. "Well, if he liked me, why didn't he let me stay with him?"

"That I don't know, fratello." Feliciano stated in puzzled manor. "I can't put my thumb on it either. It really doesn't make sense." Turning suddenly, Feliciano put a hand on Lovino's, squeezing tightly. "Come home with me, Lovino."

He stared at him questioningly. "But Grandpa kicked me out." Feliciano just shrugged.

"He was angry. Where do you think you get your anger from? But he's cooled down and I've talked about it with him and he wants you back." Lovino pulled his hand away.

"Then why doesn't _he _come and get me instead of you?" Feli flushed and looked down, trying to create something believable in his head.

"He's very proud... you know that." That struck Lovino, it was as if hearing of himself. Perhaps he was just like his Grandpa after all...

"Then I'm not coming back." Lovino said suddenly. "If I come back now, things will just go back to the way they were." Feliciano's eyes seemed panicked and he grabbed for his brother's hand again only to have it swiped away once more.

"But you want that don't you? You want to come back to us!" Lovino shook his head.

"Why would I want to go back? Where I'm told every good deed I do is insignificant and every other deed I do is shaming the family name? Why would I want to go back to Grandfather falling all over you, praising you every step of the way and then looking at me as if I were a mistake?" Shocked that he hadn't gotten emotional at all while saying the words, he looked up at Feliciano sternly, shocked to find and equal amount of surprise on his brother's face.

"Lovino... I had no clue you felt that way." Lovino just looked away, hiding the hurt in his eyes.

"Well now you do..." There was a silence between the two brother, though relief as well. At least Feliciano finally understood why his brother and grandfather constantly fought and his brother's sudden defiance against Roma. Taking Lovino's hand in his own, Feliciano smiled at Lovino warmly.

"Fratello, come back with me. And we can face Grandpa_ together_." This sparked some hope in Lovino as he looked at his brother's eyes. If Roma's favorite grandchild spoke for him, perhaps the old man would finally open his ears to the problems at hand. Lovino squeezed Feliciano's hand and smiled, his brother taking the answer with a grunt of agreement. As his brother lead him off the porch, abandoning Francis' make-shift bed, Lovino suddenly frozen in place, mind wandering to what the Frenchman had spoke of earlier.

"Wait." He said suddenly, quickly peering back into the house through the glass door. The rooms were dark save the faint light on the floor from the kitchen and two shadows. Feliciano looked at him sketpically.

"What is it fratello?" Lovino gesture for his brother to quiet as he slowly opened the door, Feliciano's face immediately went to concerned. "What are you doing?! You can't just break in!" But Lovino again hushed his brother and slipped into the house, tip-toeing silently through the living room, his brother carefully followed. "_Lovino._" Feliciano whispered as quietly as possible. Again a hushed gesture. The two snuck forward into the hallway, just missing a curious look by the albino who wore sleep-ridden eyes. Lovino carefully turned a door knob and peered in, thankful that he had opened the right door; a door to the study room.

"Watch the door, Feli." He whispered over his shoulder as his brother pouted but did as told. Searching through the room, he tried opening the drawers of the desk, but most were locked save the top one. Sifting through the random post-it notes, paper clips, and rubber bands, he couldn't find anything useful other than a few medication notes. Glancing over to the file cabinet in the corner of the room, he tested the locks on them and was pleased to find most were open. Searching through each bin of folders, he began reading random statistics and medical records. Then finally one document in particular peeked his interests.

_JANUARY 19, 2011_

_Name: Antonio Fernandez Carriedo | Gender: Male | Nationality: Spanish | Age: 27 | Blood Type: AB-_

_Doctor's Notes No. 238_

_The patient only seems to be getting worse, his health greatly deteriorating. As expected, the tests_

_came in positive for Arrhythmogenic Right Ventricular Cardiomyopathy_._ Tests are still pending for_

_Atrial septal defect, Bundle-branch re-entrant tachycardia,_ _Pulmonary hypertension, and_ _Sarcoidosis. It is_

_likely the tests will come back positive as well seeing as his right ventricle has high fibrofatty concentration of the free walls in the hypokinetic areas.  
_

_ I have advised for the patient to be permanently hospitalized until we further our knowledge on his condition, though I'm afraid time seems to be running out._

_The patient has agreed to take experimental drugs that the lab has been testing for ARVC, though it seems to only be worsening his condition. _

_At this rate, the patient will be needing a heart transplant if he is to get any better, though it will be difficult to find a donor with the patient's blood type._

_And even more so to find a proper heart transplant for the already weakening organs in response to the disfunctioning blood circulation. I fear_

_that if he isn't involved in a transplant within the next year or so, he might not live to see the age of 30._

Lovino's blood went cold as he read the doctor's note. Though he couldn't understand half of the vocabulary in it, the last part made him suddenly panic. In all, the note was saying that Antonio.. was _dying_. At least that was what his eyes read through the little English he knew. When Feliciano saw his brother's expression, he concernedly looked at the letter only to place a hand over his mouth. Feli's reaction was all the answers Lovino needed. He finally understood why Antonio didn't care about anything except for Lovino to spend time with him, he understood why his friends brought him to the country side for fresh air, and his blood boiled at the idea of Antonio lying to him for so long. Why wouldn't he tell him this? Why would he keep him in the dark? How long was he going to go without telling him the truth. Suddenly, voice sounded in the hallway outside the room and the two brother exchanged a look of alarm then dove under the desk, barely missing eachothers' skulls. The door never opened though, and the muffled voices continued down the hallways towards the bedrooms. Feliciano looked over at Lovino, registering his brother's still shocked face and he brought comforting arm around him. "Let's go.." He whispered.

Carefully sliding out the door and out of the house unnoticed, the two raced home, Lovino's mind a tangled web of worries. For once, he wasn't self-absorbed, for once, not a single thought was towards himself, and instead, was replaced with a certain ailing man.

* * *

Normally, in his situation, Lovino would have taken in the fact he was waking up in his own room again, but his eyes were still dead, still too concentrated on the horrifying news he had read the other night. It just didn't all add up and he didn't know how to go about solving the problem. When Feliciano called for him for breakfast, Lovino didn't move from his seat. He didn't want to deal with anything right now let alone his grandfather's ignorance. As his eyes wandered around the room they settled on the clock suddenly, "11:50am," he worded out with his lips until suddenly a realization struck him.

It was ten minutes until he was suppose to go to Antonio's for work. He could confront him about the doctor's note and could finally understand why everything is so topsy-turvy! Wrenching himself from underneath the covers, he quickly dressed into something a little more appropriate and tumbled down the steps, grabbing some toast and acknowledging Feli's "hey" with a wave of his hand, ignoring Roma's glare. Hell, his grandfather probably thought he just didn't want to see him, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. As he ran across the property to the neighboring villa, he knocked vigorously on the door. But instead of the kinder France opening it for him, it was Gilbert this time, scowl and all. Though, there was something different in his eyes, something dragging the usual German's spark down.

"We don't need you today. Thank you." He said simply, and Lovino narrowed his eyes.

"I need to speak to Antonio."

"I _said _he doesn't need you. Come back tomorrow." Before he closed the door, Lovino shoved a foot between the wood frame.

"_Let me in._" Gilbert's eyes glowed with frustration and he tried kicking the Italian's foot away but was unprepared for Lovino's thrust into the door nor his sudden sprint past him and into the house.

"Hey!" Gilbert shouted, just barely missing his arm as he reached out to grab the younger man. Francis looked over from the couch he had been cradled at in surprise at the sudden outburst.

"Where's Antonio?!" Lovino shouted to him. But Francis just shook his head with a stern, sleep-deprived eye.

"You shouldn't be here, Lovino." _Fine, I'll find him myself. _Lovino thought angrily, going towards the bedrooms with a thunder German behind him. Ignoring the angry shouts he quickly checked the bedroom doors until he found one that was dark, curtain drawn over the window and a lump neath the sheets.

"Antonio." He breathed as he entered, closing the door behind him. The sheets shifted tighter around the form and there was a noise rising from the lump.

"Please go away, Lovino." Antonio's voice said weakly. Lovino's heart dropped. Never did Antonio not want to see him, not want to be with him... was he still angry from last night?

"I cam to see you."

"_Go away, Lovino._" A more desperate groan arose as Lovino could barely make out in the darkness the man's hair on the pillow. "_please._"

"Antonio?" He said cautiously, approaching him every so quietly, "W-what's wrong?" The covers tucked even tighter around his body.

"I don't want you to see me like this. Please, take the money on my dresser and just come back tomorrow. You -ngh-are not needed for the day." Lovino just stared at him, heart pounding in his chest. Rounding the bed, looked at Antonio's face and his own expression paled. The man looked horrible, his skin a green tint, eyes sunken, perspiration dribbling down his forehead. Antonio's eyes opened weakly to look at him and Lovino could tell he was trying so hard to be strong. "Lovino..MNGHj-!" Suddenly, Antonio threw his head over the side of the bed and into the waste bin by the side of the bed, upchucking a nasty amount of puke. Lovino winced and covered his mouth and nose. There was a silence between them. He had to say something, he had to make Antonio know it was alright, to comfort him.

Lovino sat on the bed next to Antonio's form as he reclined weakly into the pillow, and without thought, Lovino's fingers brushed the bangs out from Antonio's eyes. As if repeating what Antonio had done when he sobbed, he brushed his hair back gently with a warm gaze. "I didn't come for the money, Antonio..." There seemed to be a spark of brightness in Antonio's eyes as they glanced up to him, his face flushed with nausea. Taking the glass of water on the bed side table, he gently placed it to the man's lips, urging him to drink. "I came for you." He said, and Antonio drank the water gratefully before looking back up at Lovino. The younger man couldn't help but flush at the way Antonio was staring at him, as if he was some kind of saintly angel come to greet him in his bed. It was.. overbearing. When Gilbert finally had the nerve to burst in, his eyes softened slightly at the sight of the two.

"I'm sorry, Antonio, I tried to stop him." Gilbert started but Antonio just glanced at him sickly. "Lovino has to go.." looking at Gilbert then back at Lovino, he said with a more steady tone.

"He can stay."

"_Antoni_-"

"-I _said_... he can _stay_." Antonio's voice was weak but stern. Lovino didn't look at the German's eyes because he knew he'd find nothing other than jealousy burning within them. Instead, he just stroked Antonio's hair and rubbed his back gently. Lovino needed to show that he would be there for the man, that he could trust him, not even thinking for a second that he was actually doing something selfless. Once Gilbert finally left, closing the door, Antonio tried to speak again only to upchuck another mouthful. Lovino quickly padded his mouth with a rag on the side and continued rubbing his back. The man almost looked to be ashamed, why, Lovino hadn't a clue.

"... when were you planning on telling me?" Lovino finally said, his eyes dim as he stared at the ailing man. Antonio looked anywhere but Lovino's eyes.

"Tell you what?"

"Please... don't play coy with me, Antonio." The man underneath the sheets winced, but not because of the nausea. "... you're not just sick with a cold. Are you?" He looked at the pillow before sighing a toxic breath out and spoke.

"A little more than a cold I'm afraid."

"Antonio..." This time the older man looked at Lovino, eyes searching and grave.

"You know.." It was Lovino who looked away now, not stopping on rubbing his back. "They told you?"

"I found out on my own." He replied quietly. "So is this... is this part of your condition?" Antonio relaxed, relieved Lovino was taking it so well... or so it appeared.

"No. I'm.. given experimental drugs once a week, to see what kind of affects my body will have to them. The doctors are hoping through this, we could find one that might cure my... _condition._" Lovino seemed to wince at this. "... but no. It doesn't cause this." As he ended on the word, he heaved again and Lovino was sure to hold the bangs from his eyes as he did so.

"So when did this start anyways...?" Lovino asked quietly.

Antonio relaxed back into the bed, his eyes misty but he seemed a bit.. brighter. "Well.. I'm not sure exactly, it's hard to remember. Somewhere between when I left the academy and when I decided to travel the world with Gilbert and Francis. We had formed a little band you see, and I was the guitar player and sometimes the singer. When I fainted on the stage at our opening concert in Berlin, I was hospitalized for months. I had to be... maybe twenty then?" Lovino's eyes looked at him sympathetically.

"So.. you didn't go to college then?" Antonio laughed weakly, but even though it was horse, the laugh still was beautiful.

"No, Lovino. The academy provided me with whatever paperwork needed. Besides, I wanted to explore my passions."

"Weren't your parents opposed to it?" Lovino asked innocently, watching the man's smile soften.

"I wouldn't know. I was abandoned as a baby at an orphanage in Milan."

"Oh.." Lovino looked down slowly. "My parents aren't around either. They died when I was seven."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. My grandpa took my brother and I in and put us through school. My brother turned out to be some boy genius and I.. well... I never really knew what I was." Antonio studied Lovino's face curiously, then moved his hand on top of Lovino's.

"But didn't you have any passions, Lovino? Any interests you wanted to fallow through on?" Lovino gazed at him bemusedly and scratched the back of his head, a blush forming on his cheeks at the contact.

"Well.. sure.. I mean. I kind of had this stupid dream. But that's the thing, it was stupid, and it would never come true so I didn't bother-"

"What was it?" Antonio smiled, and his face seemed to start returning to its natural shade. "If you don't mind me asking."

Lovino peered away, as if in pain. "You'll laugh."

"I won't." Another glance, and then the young man sighed before speaking hesitantly.

"Okay. When I was younger.. I.. wanted to be a singer." Antonio's eyebrows shot up in surprise and the corners of his mouth quivered to not laugh. "You said you wouldn't laugh!" Lovino snapped, though there was a playfulness in his tone.

"I'm not, I'm not!" As he stifled his laughter, he shortened the grin on his face. "Sing something for me, then." Now Lovino was just horrified.

"I won't! I-I can't!" Antonio's hand gently squeezed around his and the blush burned hotter, thankfully it was unnoticeable due to the lighting.

"Sing for me, Lovino."

Lovino stared at him, heart thundering in his chest. He hadn't sung in front of anyone, nor shared his secret passion either. Trying to find any excuse what so ever to not sing he terrifyingly came up with none and accepted his fate. Glancing over to the table, eyes nervously glued to the glass of water, he inhaled deeply. Then began to sing.

_"Guarda lontano_

_Non ti fermare_

_Anche se la strada_

_Ti sembra finita._

_Più di una volta_

_Avrai da lottare_

_Morderai il fango_

_Nella tua storia._

_Un giorno vorrei_

_Poterti parlare_

_Di tutte le cose_

_Che tengo nel cuore."_

As he sun, his eyes never left the glass, nor blinked, and his voice was nervously low, sometimes cracking a bit. But all the while Antonio stared at him admiringly, his hand clasped with Lovino's and fingers entangling in his own. He could feel the smile on Antonio's face, his warm eyes burning into him so greatly that his heart felt ready to burst. It wasn't until Lovino's hand was given a comforting squeeze that his voice evened out and he closed his eyes, listening to the music in his head and forming the lyrics coherently. When the song was done, he inhaled another deep breath and opened his eyes, Antonio's gaze the first thing to meet his. "That was beautiful, Lovi." _Lovi. He called me Lovi..._ Blushing, he looked away, untangling his hands from Antonio's. "though, I think it wasn't done justice without a guitar. Would you sing for me again sometime?" Lovino just nodded, nonchalantly agreeing to something that he usually would argue prudently about. For now though, his mind was racing with the lingering touch of Antonio's hand.

"It seems like you are feeling better.." He muttered, not meeting his eyes, but Antonio did not mind.

"Yes. I feel quite a bit better. I think the drugs are starting to finally leave my system."

"Good. Then I will be going." Antonio's smile fell a bit but still kept the crease of his eyes apparent. He had held Lovino's hand, had entangled with the boy's finger, had felt the heart beat within his palm. Antonio could die that moment and he'd be more than happy with his existence.

"Oh. Alright. Then I shall see you tomorrow?" Lovino just nodded, not facing him, not revealing the emotions that were fluttering in his stomach. Ignoring Gilbert's glare as he hurried out of the house, it wasn't until he was on the front lawn, clutching hand, that he realized he had been holding his breath.

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_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_


	8. Loneliness

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

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Never in his life had Lovino felt quite like this. Where it seems his blood was an electric circuit, buzzing through his veins as he thought of Antonio. Huddled in his bedroom, under a pile of blankets, he still could feel Antonio's hand against his. Sweaty, firm... warm. So achingly warm like his smile and eyes and being. Antonio didn't just make him feel good about himself, simply being in his proximity set Lovino's soul on fire. Before, he hadn't noticed this, but as he recalled the emotions he held around the man, the flushing of his face, the involuntary perspiration... it all made sense. The more he tried to push the thought away, the more it came swarming back.

Lovino liked him.

Just how much was uncertain and he dared not intrude on the idea. He especially wouldn't allow Feliciano to know, or he'd never hear the end of it. When the door opened, he almost didn't notice the movement of his grandfather entering the room, but when he spoke up, Lovino's eyes quickly shifted their attention. Roma stood awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "Could we talk, mio nipote?" Lovino stared at him for a long while before giving him a minor nod. Roma made his way to a stool on the other end of the room, pulling it up to the end of the bed with a nervous expression. Thumbs twiddling he thought of how to form the words. "I.. realize I've been a little hard on you lately." Lovino said nothing. "Feliciano told me how you felt and... well... I came to apologize." For a second, Lovino felt aggravated at the thought of Feli telling his Grandpa, but at the same, he understood it was necessary. Roma continued, eyes not meeting Lovino's, "I know that things have been hard since your parents died. It probably doesn't help that I forget my boundaries on where I'm your grandfather and your guardian. But I assure you, nipote, that I never meant to overlook you. I just want the best for you, you know that." The man's cheeks dimpled with a small smile. Lovino pulled his knees up to his chest underneath the blanket. It seemed like Roma for once was genuinely apologizing...

"It just seems like you pay all your attention to Feliciano and I'm overlooked..." He mumbled honestly, uncomfortable with meeting Roma's gaze. "I know that I haven't done much with my life since graduation... and I know you're disappointed I didn't attend college like Feli. But honestly, I felt like there was no reason to because I didn't feel worthy..." Roma scoffed.

"What do you mean you're not worthy? You are the strongest young man I have ever seen, well.. besides myself." Roma's eyes softened suddenly, "Alright.. even more than myself. I'm just so afraid that you're going to miss out on life's opportunities. You're so bright, Lovino, so full of fire. When you set your mind to things, they get done. You just need to apply yourself and you'll see." Smiling, he reached over and rubbed a hand on the lump that was Lovino's foot underneath the covers. "If you apply yourself, then I will make sure to support you one hundred and ten percent of the way." Lovino smiled back at him but found boredom on the problems he dwelled on so fervently before. A more pressing matter was at hand and the whole atmosphere of opening up made Lovino want to spill everything. As Roma got up and began to leave the room, Lovino did something that he kicked himself for.

"I like him." He blurted out. Roma's hand was on the door frame as he turned, searching his grandson's face in confusion. Turning to face Lovino, he slipped his hands in his pockets and prepared to listen.

"Like who, Lovino?" His head deepened into the covers sheepishly, a blush forming on his cheeks. Heart thundering he recalled Antonio's face and touch, his warm voice and delicious laughter.

"... Antonio." Wincing as he said the words, he looked away, ignoring the fact his voice cracked when saying it. "... I can't peg my emotions as anything else.." Roma's eyes were locked on Lovino as he practically collapsed back onto the stole.

"You're.."

"_No._ I mean... I might be. I don't know." Lovino obviously seemed distressed by it and Roma just gazed at him with concern, trying to comprehend the concept.

"Can you describe to me the feelings you have for this... man?"

Lovino thought about this, expression still contorted as if in pain. "I don't know... I feel almost sick when he laughs, but in a good way. And every time I'm around him it's as if I just want to get closer, hear his voice a little louder. He has this... energy, Grandpa where I just can feel.." He mumbled into the covers in embarrassment, "... safe." Roma looked at his grandson, forcing a comforting smile and once again patting Lovino's foot.

"Then I'm afraid you bat for another team, my boy."

"_Oh no._" Shoving his head in the sheets he refused to look up at his grandpa who rubbed the back of his head in an awkward gesture. Roma had no clue how to handle this, and never in his life would he expect both of his grandson, his only living relatives, to both be homosexual.

"We can't help who we love, mio nipote. Unfortunately it's just the luck of the draw. I myself do not understand your brother's.. preferences, nor apparently your own. But I do understand not being able to choose what fate has in store." But Lovino was already blubbering tears before his next sentence.

"_Then why does 'fate' have to be some damn cruel as to make me love a dying man!?_" Roma went still, his face pale as he got up slowly to wrap his arms around his grandson. "He's dying Grandpa.. he has this heart condition. The doctor says he won't make another year.."

"Oh Lovino.. I'm so sorry." Rubbing the boy's shoulders, he pulled him close for a hug, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "Listen to me, nipote, and listen to me good, okay?" Roma said in a matter-o-fact yet comforting voice. "You must forget about this man. Hide your feelings until they go away, and do not worry, they will. But you must find some way to get your mind off of him or else when he does pass, it will spare you as much pain."

"I _can't_. I work for him, Grandpa, I see him every day!"

"Then quit." Lovino suddenly felt hollow at the idea.

"I just come to register my feelings for him, and now you want me to never see him again?"

"It's for your own good. Think about it, Lovino. If you were to embrace these feelings for him, you would see him in the worst conditions a human can be in. You'd no longer see him as Antonio but the sickly shell painted with what he once was. You'd spend times in hospitals at his bedside until finally the inevitable. Please understand, Lovino, that I'm just trying to look out for you." As much as Lovino didn't want to believe that his grandfather was right, what he said made sense. Besides, the man had enough worries as it is and he didn't need any more from Lovino. Sighing a quivering breath, he placed a hand gently on his grandfather's.

"Thank you, Grandpa. It makes sense. But.. I won't quit. I devoted my responsibility to him and I owe him at least that. Besides, if I were to up and leave he might have a heart attack or something.." They both forced a bitter laugh, Roma kissing Lovino's forehead and rubbing his back soothingly.

"I'm sorry you were thrown into this Lovino. And I'm sorry how I treated you before." Lovino looked up at him, but his eyes had some how dulled with sadness.

"And I'm sorry how I acted before as well. Thank you for listening to me. And if you could.. please don't tell Feli." With a nod, Roma exited the room and closed the door. Only then, did Lovino truly cry.

* * *

When he approached the house at noon the next morning, he assured himself over and over again that he would not give in to emotion. That this was a job, nothing more. That no matter how blissful Antonio's laugh was, how much he wanted to hear the man's voice or be in his presence, it was best for the both of them to stay just professionals. When he was let in, instantly it pained him to see Antonio's face brighten from the living room. "Lovino! Come in, come in! I was just learning that song of yours on my guitar. Let me see, it went like this, didn't it?" His fingers strummed the guitar almost perfectly in sync from the song Lovino had sung before. But it wasn't until Antonio set his voice in that Lovino question if he could really pull this off. So husky and smooth, a sultry perfect even with the Italian being abused by his Spanish accent. The Italian's heart felt a stab as he wiped the emotions from his face and continued into the living room. "I Googled your song earlier and learned it from there."

"Is there anything you need me to do?" He asked simply, but Antonio took no mind to Lovino's efforts, just continued strumming and singing softly. Perfectly. Lovino would _not _be entranced by his voice. "Antonio." He said sternly, and Antonio's eyes instantly looked upwards, smile fading. "Do you need me to do anything?" The question seemed to finally set in to the man as his face hardened with confusion.

"U-uh.. not off the top of my mind, no." Set his guitar down he gazed at Lovino as if trying to untangle an enchanted puzzle, not realizing that Lovino was struggling with that same gaze. "Like I said Lovino, you may do whatever you'd like while you're here." Lovino nodded, looking anywhere but Antonio's eyes.

"Then I will do some real work, if you don't mind." Moving past Antonio, he began towards the back of the house, exiting off the patio and to the stakes underneath. Heaving a few over his head, he started towards the field, intended every moment to be set working on the vineyard instead of being around Antonio. It was too dangerous to be around him after all, too hypnotizing. As if the Spaniard had some kind of spell cast upon Lovino, he refused to give in. Finally his stubbornness would pay off..

The rest of the day, he concentrated on the field, sweat dripping off his nose. Every so often he would peer to the patio where Antonio could be found with his drink in hand, just gazing at him, but then Lovino would turn back to the stakes. He was so concentrated on the field in fact, that by dusk, he had finished the entire lot, neat rows of stakes surrounding the field in perfect sequences. Heaving a shallow breath, he wiped the sweat from his eyes and forced himself to move back to the house. Each step Lovino dragged until he was finally entering the house, practically collapsing on the couch. It was only then he noticed that no one seemed to be home. Gilbert and Francis were no where to be seen.. and nor was Antonio. "Hello?" He called out, looking around as he calmed his breath. "Is anyone there?"

"I am." Antonio's voice sounded as he came from the hallway, his face flushed and breathing unsteady. Instantly, Lovino threw his attention to him.

"Antonio are you alright?" The man just smiled softly, leaning against the wall.

"Yes, yes... just... a little short of breath, I'm afraid." It was as if he was nodding off, and Lovino quickly took note of the man sliding down the wall.

"_Antonio._" He sounded in alarm, leaping off the sofa and holding the man up by the waist and shoulder. Remembering what Gilbert and Francis did the last time this had happened, he quickly made his way to the bathroom, setting Antonio on the toilet seat. "S-stay there, I-I'll ready the tub." Pulling at the fossetts, he tested the water as just below luke-warm before turning towards Antonio who was panting now. He didn't know what to do. Lovino knew he had to get Antonio into the tub.. but should he get him in with his clothes on or... would he have to. "What do I do?" He asked quickly, but panicked when he received no reply. Starting with his shirt, Lovino ripped his clothes off piece by piece, thinking of anything accept what he was doing. Leaving the man's underwear on, he coaxed Antonio into the tub where the man gave a gasp from the cold water, then settled in. Then it was just a matter of waiting as Lovino sat next to the tub, using a damp cloth to drag water along the man's body. Becoming increasingly more difficult to keep his eyes off of his sun-kissed, bare skin and toned abdomen, his eyes wandered to a scrubbie in the corner.

"I'm sorry.. Lovino." A sound came feebly from Antonio's lips. "I hadn't taken all my pills this morning.. I was... stupid... and I'm sorry."

"You what?! _Yes you're stupid_. You're a fucking moron! How do you think you'll get better if you don't take your pills?!" Lovino scolded and Antonio just tipped his head back with a wide grin on his face, still trying to control his own breath. Lovino gazed at his neck ravishingly.

"So optimistic..." Antonio laughed meekly. Lovino's face darkened at this and he looked down, repeating the same sentence over again that he had been repeating before he came to this house. _I will not show emotion. I will not listen to emotions._

"Where is Gilbert and Francis?" Lovino asked suddenly.

"They went to pick up Gilbert's brother from the airport. He's been in duty for the past few years but apparently went A-wall at his last mission." Finally, Antonio's breathing was starting to steady again.

"But they're German right? Why doesn't he go back to Germany instead of coming down here?"

"Because he's afraid of his father's reaction to his betrayal to the military. Gilbert's the only one he can really trust." Looking over at Lovino tiredly he forced a smile before saying crisply. "Are you mad at me, Lovi?"

Lovino's eyes stretched wide, mouth slightly agape. His whole body seemed to freeze at the question but he soon straightened himself, glancing at the scrubbie from before. "Not at all."

"You seem mad."

"I'm not."

"Then why aren't you talking to me with the energy of before?" Lovino just kept staring at the scrubby, not sure how to answer his question.

"I don't understand what you're talking about."

"That passion, Lovino!" Antonio suddenly growled, but not unkindly, "the fire that you had when you sang for me, the inferno that burned inside you when you talked to me about your grandfather and your brother and you rubbed my back. _That _fire, Lovi!" Lovino just looked at him, finally mustering up enough courage to put on a very thick and heavy mask.

"Antonio, please calm down. Getting so worked up is not good for your health." Suddenly a fist slammed into the water, Antonio's eyes narrow and staring at the end of the tub angrily. Of course Antonio was angry, the whole reason he liked Lovino was because he didn't treat him like some injured animal that needed to be constantly nursed and watched over. Now he was just the same as them all.

"This is why I didn't want you to know, Lovino." The man said bitterly, gazing at the fossett without a hint of his usual, warm nature. "because you'd just turn out like Gilbert and Francis. You'd just think of me as some injured creature, and not who I really was behind that." Looking down, he concentrated on trying to control the breath that was becoming uneven as his emotions arose. "I thought you'd understand. That finally _someone_ would understand that I still have a life to live. That I still am the Antonio behind my illness. You proved that to me by talking to me in my bed yesterday but.. I see I was wrong. I see that I was very, very wrong." _No you weren't._ Lovino wanted to scream, _I do see the Antonio behind that, I do know that passion you speak of. If only I could just allow you to see, if only you just knew why I have to act like this._ His eyes burned at the damn scrubby, trying so hard to not burst into tears. "I think I'd rather take my bath alone, Lovino." Antonio muttered to himself gravely.

Lovino winced at this but nodded silently, moving out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. But he couldn't make it to the living room, let alone his house. It was as if his legs were sealed to the floor with cement as he slid down the door, plunging his head into his arms and bring his knees to his chest. If only he could just allow himself to love Antonio... if only he would just be a healthy man and Lovino could give this thing a shot. But even now, even when he has someone who cares for him in his grasp...

He is alone.

* * *

_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_

_Oh don't you hate it when you're a ways into the story and then you come up with a better title? Lol! OTZ fml_


	9. There is Safety in Denial

_Pairing: Antonio Carriedo/Lovino Vargas_

_Summary: AU The Vargas Villa has always been a lavishing yet lonely palace for the wealthy Lovino, always overlooking the eye soar that was the abandoned Villa neighboring their own estate. No one had lived in it since Lovino was a kid... no one... save now. A mysterious, ailing man named Antonio Carriedo and his friends, Gilbert and Francis, have moved in, and though rarely scene, Lovino soon finds that his own problems aren't always the worst._

_Warning: This is truly an angst story. Prepare a few tissue boxes.  
_

* * *

In all his life living in Tuscany, the heat was never a bother for Lovino. Sure he perspired neath the Italian sun, but overall it was similar to being underneath a heavy blanket. But now, now he _burned_. The heat rippling on all corners of his body, swallowing him whole and sparing no breath. Writhing in a sea of tan skin and warm smiles, eyes shining as they searched all of him, he gasped. Antonio's inferno scorched his soul and as he cried out suddenly, a faint laugh echoing into silence, an unfamiliar room greeted him. At first he could not remember to whom this room belonged to, but as he shifted his head to the side of the pillow, an intoxicating aroma was inhaled.

This was Antonio's bed. Blinking the confusion and sleep from his eyes, he tried to recall the night before. Antonio's angry face suddenly cut into his memory and it was as if he had been stabbed, clutching the center of his chest. _I must have fallen asleep._. Lovino thought to himself, remembering how he cried into his arms outside the bathroom door.

A sound came from outside the room, but then disappeared as Lovino pulled himself from the bed reluctantly. Walking slowly to the door leading out to the hallway he turned towards the living room and kitchen where an unfamiliar voice made its presence known. "I'm sorry, Gil. I know you feel ashamed of me and I am very grateful that you welcomed me back anyways." The man's voice was deep, deeper than Lovino had ever heard a voice being, and the German accent was much thicker than the albino's. Leaning against the counter, arms crossed, he glared at the hulking man with slicked-back, blonde hair, a glimmer of relief in his eyes. He must've missed his brother.

"Why'd you do it then, West?" Ludwig looked down and rubbed a hand to his eye, though the words being said were not well understood by Lovino, he felt shy about stepping out from the shadows. Surely they would shine eyes of disapproval to him.

"Because I fell in love.." The man mumbled, his face stern. One would find it difficult to believe such a sentence came from him. Gilbert however, couldn't keep a smile down from his cheeks.

"_You_ fell in love?! I thought your love was the army?!" Gilbert supported himself with his hands on his knees as he laughed, but his brother hadn't the faintest smile on his face. "So you found some chick, you shagged up with her, and then you left the army for her? Where are the cameras? bring her out why doncha'!"

His brother's face was grim. "... I don't know where he is. I'm hoping to find him while I stay here..." Lovino could see the smile quickly fade from Gilbert's face, eyes studying his brother with question.

"_He._.?" This time, it was Antonio's pure laughter that bitterly swept the room.

"Looks like your brother bats for my team now, Gilbert!"

"_Dein Mund, Antonio_!" Gilbert spat, rubbing his eyes. "Have you always been like this?!" To Gilbert's horror, his little brother just genuinely shrugged. As the albino groaned and rolled his head back, he caught the peering eye of Lovino in the hallway. "Looks like our guest's woken up.." Heart pounding in his chest as every eye flew to Lovino, he slowly made his way out from the hallway. Antonio didn't look at him. Taking note of the tan man's grim face, he looked up at Gilbert and then to Francis.

"I have to go check in with my family. I'll return at twelve.. thank you for letting me stay." Francis' face was soft and dim.

"Not a problem, mon ami. But I'm not the one who put you in bed.." Eyes widening he looked over at Antonio, only to see the back of his head and his tense shoulders. He must still be mad…

Turning to face him he quickly blurted, "Thank you," before hurrying out of the house and forcing the sight of Antonio flinching from his mind. As he crossed the yard, he could hear the door slam shut behind him. He spun around, hopeful that it might've been Antonio trying to chase after him, but was gravely disappointed when he saw Gilbert's younger brother just going towards the car.

"Lovino!" Feli's voice shouted from their doorstep. Sprinting across the yard as the porche backed out of the long drive way, his brother tackled Lovino lovingly. "I was so worried! Where were you? You didn't come home and dinner got cold and we thought you'd been abducted or maybe you were at Antonio's house but if so then why are you still in your clothes, why did you spend the night?!" Something turned in Feliciano's gaze and a smile pierced his lips. "Did you and Antonio.." Lovino blushed furiously and grabbed his brother by the nape of his neck, dragging him closer to their house, as if the neighboring household could still hear them.

"No. I didn't." He said with narrowed eyes that were baggy from crying. "... he hates me. He doesn't want anything to do with me and the same goes for me to him."

"You hate him?"

"W-well no I don't hate him. But he hates me so-"

"He doesn't hate you, Lovino. He loves you. Those are two very different things!" Lovino couldn't keep the flush of heat down from his cheeks, nor the spark from his eye.

"Why… why would you think that?"

"Well haven't you seen the way he looks at you? I've only met him once but when I did his eyes were on you the moment you walked in the door. Then they never left. It was as if he was glued to your entire being, Lovino and the way he spoke for you to Grandpa… well.. it's only further proof." Lovino's heart pounded in his chest as he cupped a hand to his lips. He knew Antonio liked him, but now that he recalled all the instances they had together he realized his own feelings were much more than a simple attraction.. "And you like him to… don't you, Lovi?" Feli added slyly, taking joy out of seeing his brother's flushed face.

"Sh-shut up!" He shouted, pushing his brother away suddenly. _Was this really true?_

"Feli! It's okay to love another man! I do, and look how I came out!"

"That is not helping your point and I have already been established with this truth!" Closing his eyes he let out a shaky breath. "You saw the doctor's note, Feli… if I were to allow my emotions to get the best of me, then my heart would be destroyed when the inevitable came." Feli tilted his head in confusion.

"But, fratello. Antonio is not going to die until a while, and even then, they have him issued for a transplant so he will get better." Lovino's eyes burned into his brother's, testing the hope that was suddenly layed before him.

"What?" Looking down he breathed deeply, "The doctor said he won't live past thirty though.."

"_Unless _he gets a transplant. Which in this day and age is quite likely." Looking down, his eyes wide, he looked back towards Antonio's house longingly. _If it was so easy to get the transplant, then why the hell was everyone treating Antonio like a dead man... was there something else he's hiding from me? _Looking down, he crept past his brother with a melting pot of thoughts. Only parting his lips to speak in a quivering breath.

"Thank you, fratello.." Acknowledging his grandpa's concern of his whereabouts once he entered the house, Lovino found himself at his bedroom mirror. He could even still make out the faint traces the sheets left on his cheek as he recalled Antonio's scent upon those covers. Everything was Antonio suddenly, like some kind epileptic trance, his mind cleansed itself and replaced the space with everything Antonio. Then the heat burned again, this time blooming like a firey lilly from his heart to his mind, setting his emotions ablaze. _He loves you, Lovi. _His brother's voice echoed in the back of his mind as he fell onto his bed, greatly craving for his covers to be filled with Antonio's aroma, for his hands to be grasped with the Spaniard's. If only Antonio knew that the more he tried to ignore those persistent feelings, the more they seemed to grow. It was then that Lovino got an odd idea, an urge that became too great to ignore. Hand sliding from the bed sheets, it rested on his stomach, tracing circles around the muscle beneath his shirt. The circles got wider until they traveled below the shirt and up his abdomen as he breathed out shakily. But in his mind, the hand that touched him was not his, no, it belonged to a man with a joyous laugh and sparkling eyes, and he could _see _those eyes so clearly now. Before he even fully realized what he was doing, a bulge had hardened within his pants, constricting the fabric and causing his breath to become uneven. The image of Antonio over him, pressing down on his body now drove him mad. It was as if this illusion had been made real by simple thought, the husky breath of the Spaniard tickling his neck, hot and insistent. The way he said his name in that dialect that nearly butchered the Italian language. Before he could transcend the erotic moment, the loud ringing of his alarm clock shocked him up into a sitting position. It was time for work.

_Did I just..? _Lovino looked at his hand that had been so curious and experimental just moment ago, and then to his pants. When he rested back down onto the bed, his heart beat finally settling and breath becoming more even, Lovino just stared at the ceiling in memory. _This can't go on forever. At this rate, my heart will give out before Antonio's. _Inhaling, he crawled out of the bed, ignoring the now fading lump in his pants and began undressing and redressing to return to the source of his troubles. Alarm resetting for tomorrow, he quickly made his way out of the house and back to the door that loomed over him mockingly. Before he grabbed the handle, a thought suddenly shot him through the stomach. If his brother was correct, if Antonio really did have feelings for him, then would it really still be safe to join this man in anything more than a friendship. Sure, his grandfather was approving, and sure there now might be hope of Antonio's survival... but Antonio was just as persistent as Lovino's hand was just a few moments ago. The way Antonio smiled at him, he could piece together the tiny hints and longing looks and see deeper within that, within his love there was lust, fuming so terribly as it had been suppressed by the illness within.

And for good reason. The heart condition Antonio had was obviously a difficulty when it came to staying calm, otherwise he would be thrown into danger. Say the relationship would work, eventually Antonio would want more, not that Lovino himself wouldn't either but at least he could control his own urges to an extent. Antonio fought so viciously against what the doctors told him, what his friends told him. He wanted so badly not to be crippled by this illness that he even puts his own heart at risk. If Lovino were to allow him to think, even for a moment, that he would have a chance to test the line of safety, especially with Lovino, then he knew that Antonio wouldn't hesitate. But then again, the way it sounded in his head made it just seem like a load of excuses. _No, Lovino. You have to at least set the boundaries. Enough 'what ifs'._

As if on cue, Francis and Gilbert both pushed there way out the door and into the sunshine of the afternoon, their faces as if hiding a smile. Behind them, he could see Antonio's confused, frozen face trying desperately to bid his friends back. "Where are you two going?" Lovino asked bemusedly, searching their faces for any answers but just finding masks.

"Out. We must pick up some medication."

"Both of you?"

Francis nodded frantically and shoved Gilbert more towards the car who just groaned in half acknowledgement and half annoyance. Lovino peered back into the house as Antonio seemed to instantly get off the couch and motion towards the hall, not expecting Lovino to grab his arm to stop him. And Lovino wasn't expecting to either. Heart beating furiously in his chest he stated in a frenzied, anxious voice, "we need to talk." _You have the strength that Antonio doesn't. You can do this, Lovino._

The man's face turned to him, the same dull expression visible as before. It hurt Lovino to see that he had caused such harm, this guise of a misunderstanding to plague the ailing man's heart. But he would set it right, he would finally allow Antonio to know the truth. Despite his Grandfather's warnings, this time, Lovino would listen to his healthy, yearning heart that only beat for the man who's arm he grasped so fervently for. "Please..." Closing his lips and clenching his jaw, Antonio just breathed out and nodded slowly, allowing Lovino to lead him to the couch. Seating a cushion away from him, he awkwardly rubbed his knees together and twiddled his thumbs at how to translate his thoughts into words. Lovino had come to Antonio's door ready to face a great armada, and now that he was finally here, and Antonio's glorious green eyes were set upon him... not a single word slithered through his lips. _Say something, idiota! Tell him your feelings, tell him why it won't work out, show him that you care for him at least as a friend! _But nothing came except a long, awkward silence. Tired of waiting, Antonio began to get up, whispering tightly. _No wait! Please_! _Don't go!_

"If you aren't going to talk then you should get to wo-"

"_Please_, Antonio." There was a tone to the young man's voice as he grabbed his arm again that made Antonio suddenly look at him and want to sit back down. "I.. I'm sorry." A flash of surprise flickered in the older man's eye but soon was hidden again. Lovino was not the kind of man to apologize, nor was Antonio expecting an apology from him.

"What ever for, Lovino? I do not need your apology, nor your sympathy." Again trying to get up and again getting pulled back down, Lovino's heart was on a mad dash.

"Please, I need to talk to you!" Antonio pulled his hand away with narrowed eyes.

"But you are not talking-"

"_Then make me talk!"_ He suddenly blurted, clapping a hand to his mouth and going red at the realization of how awkward it sounded. _What the fuck was that suppose to mean?! Please, please Antonio don't take it like that! God damn it he's just staring at me what do I do?! _Lovino just sat there, wanting so desperately to bolt out of the house but his ass seemed glued to the sofa. His voice had cracked in the blurb and hung itself with desperation only adding to the embarrassing misery that spread his eyes wide. Noting Antonio's sudden shift in movement and the furrowing of the Spaniard's brow, he breathed outward shakily trying not to think of anything that might spark unnecessary emotions or thoughts. _You can still do this. At least he's interested in what you have to say now. Come on, Lovino... _But Antonio had not ignored the underlying possibilities of the sentence Lovino had spat, nor could he take his mind off of it.

"... Lovino.. do you..." His face was inching closer and the Italian pressed himself into the corner of the couch, shutting his eyes tightly. _What are you doing? No! Stop it, let me explain, please!_, ".. like me?" Fluttering open his eyes again, he scanned the man's face that seemed to be returning with color. But as Lovino realized his question, his heart sped up and he felt that nauseous feeling in his gut. He couldn't do this.

"L-like? S-sure. I mean, y-you're a nice guy I guess.." Looking away he cursed himself silently for how his cheeks burned so intensely or how the realization of his closeness made his stomach churn into knots.

"You know what I mean, Lovi." _Don't say my name like that_, he couldn't look into those eyes of his, not when Antonio's voice had turned so sultry, so husky with desire. The confidence radiated out of the man like some kind of super nova, sucking him in as he felt the churning of his stomach begin to grow hotter. When he didn't make a noise, just sealing his lips tightly with his hand, Antonio leaned in, body above the boy, the steam of his breath tickling Lovino's ear. "Do not lie to me, _Lovi." Oh god.  
_He couldn't control it, couldn't hide the quiet gasp that came from his loosened fingers as his pants constricted uncomfortably. _There's no way Antonio's voice would be like that unless... that__ bastard is speaking like that on purpose! _Lovino tried so vigorously to muster some words, any words through the lusty mist that clouded his better judgement, but tangibility was slipping away quickly. Suddenly realizing he legs were on either side of Antonio's hips, he tried to scoot back more on the couch only to find he had run out of room. This wasn't good.

A jingling of keys sounded in the distant door and Antonio pressed his form against Lovino's instantly. If it Antonio wasn't already aware before, Lovino was certain his arousal was quite now noticeable, his hot breath on Antonio's neck as the Spaniard concealed the young man with his body. Little did Lovino know the situation was driving him crazy as well as Antonio tried desperately to concentrate on the pace of his heart. By the heavy footsteps of rubber boots, Antonio knew it was Ludwig that had entered, now setting the keys on the counter. Next, the fridge opened and a milk container was set out onto the surface as well as a glass. Then the pouring of milk and then Ludwig glugging away as he practically inhaled the liquid, wiping his mouth and gasping. The fridge opened again and Ludwig disappeared into the hallway, but it wasn't until there was the shutting of a door that Antonio let off of the now panting, flushed Lovino. He himself was panting, though for once it was welcomed as he bored down upon the smaller man with starvation in his eyes.

* * *

_SLAM!_ Both Francis and Gilbert peered over at Antonio skeptically whose back was still turned. Exchanging a concerned look, Gilbert looked over at his little brother. "Ludwig, could you excuse us for a moment?" The blond man searched his watch as if it held some kind of vital secret and then nodded, grabbing the keys and heading out of the house. After the door was promptly clicked shut, Gilbert's attention directed towards Antonio, eyes glowing with concern. "Antonio.. what was that about?" he asked, regarding Lovino's hasty retreat. Francis could only assume after Antonio had carried the unconscious Lovino to his bed that something had went on, though, due to perverted thoughts he had apparently assumed wrong. Antonio's shoulders just tensed even more and Francis attempted to urge on the sickly man.

"Antonio..?" Now it seemed as if his friend was shivering, turning into a quaking of laughter that drizzled out of his unseen mouth. His friends moved closer to him cautiously, Antonio tilting his head back and voicing a great, bitter laugh that paled his friends' faces. Something was definitely wrong.

"He knows." Came the cracking, despaired voice as the laughs died down, it was then that they noticed he was wiping tears from his eyes before repeating, "He knows…"

"Knows what, mon ami?"

"About me." He bellowed, now using his palms to scrape the tears that streamed down his face. The two looked at each other then joined their friend on the couch, a hand patting his shoulder in a comforting manner.

"I.. thought this had been established…"

"_It has._ And I had thought for just a mere moment of ignorant bliss that he had looked past that. That he wouldn't turn into just a hollow nurse with no smiles or happy thoughts. That wouldn't surround himself with my death." A dagger stabbed in both their hearts, but to everyone's surprise, it was Gilbert who leapt to defend Lovino.

"Oh get over yourself, Toni. If you can't see the way he follows you like a little puppy or how he looks at you when you sing, then you are just as blind as you are ailing." Antonio looked at him now, shock replacing the water of his gaze.

"I don't under-"

"He is right, mon ami." Francis interrupted, a small smile on his face, "no matter how much the boy tries to hide it, those gorgeous brown eyes fail to lie. Lovino has feelings for you that he himself might not understand the extent yet, but they are still there." As Antonio listened his mind desperately grasping for reason, trying to remember the man's face ever brightening up or even flushing for him._ But the times he did blush in my presence, it wasn't for me surely?_

"No. No you're wrong he made it perfectly clear yesterday that he was not interested. Besides, you were the ones who told me to not advance on any emotions, why would you dangle them in front of me like this?" Surely they were wrong? The Italian had said more than enough to show him that he didn't think of him as anything more than a sickly man... or had he just replaced Lovino's words with words of his own fears?

"It's not our intention to 'dangle' the emotions in front of your face, Antonio... nor is it our place to deny you of happiness. We've seen the way you look at him, treat him, and the way he makes you laugh. And we also see the brightness in that boy's face and the way he blushes from that said laugh. Look, believes us or don't believe us, but he's going to come today and it will be up to you what you choose." Said Gilbert suddenly, getting off the couch and shrugging his arms into the air. "After all, you've never had problems with romancing before." Looking at the floor, Antonio missed Gilbert's gesture to Francis for him to follow. Grabbing the keys to the second car, they began creeping towards the door when the knock sounded. The two hid their smirks as Antonio's gaze found them immediately, anxiety drenching his cheeks in red.

"_H-hey!_ Where are you going? You surely aren't leaving me with-" The door opened. His friends slipped out. The boy stepped in.

He had to get out of here.

* * *

_Hope you like it so far! :D Please leave reviews, likes, or favorites to show support, thankies~! ^^_


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